My wife of two years has asked me to be good friends with a long term friend of hers. I agreed cheerfully.
For some time now, I have become uncomfortable seeing him, as when we do, he showers my wife with kisses and firm hugs. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have a problem with this, but I noticed that my wife is the ONLY recipient of such affection. No other female that arrives is treated in the same way.
I have discussed this with my wife and she has explained it by saying that they have been friends for a long time. I accepted this.
Recently, I have noticed that these displays of affection are becoming more pronounced. Once again, I have raised my continuing discomfort with my wife.
After a long discussion, she has revealed that they were lovers during my wife's previous marriage. This has made me extremely uncomfortable.
I fully understand that we all have a past, and have no problems with that.
My problems stems from the fact that my wife wishes me to have a friendship with an ex lover. I cannot stand the thought of seeing this man anymore. It is now very distressing.
I have explained this to my wife, but she does not want to stop seeing this man.
I have advised her that I will no longer accompany her to see him, as it is too painful. I have not said that I wish her to discontinue seeing him, as I feel I have no right to make such demands.
Am I wrong to make such a stand?
I do trust my wife but I do not trust this man. I think he will take advantage as soon as an opportunity presents itself.
I also feel very hurt that my feelings are being discounted.
I would love to know what others think.
Thanks