Rokybird,

First, I'm so sorry you have had to face depression. That's no fun at all.

Secondly, me, too...but I didn't often recognize depression. And, when I did, it seems as though it was always 'disapointment'...that the good things I expected and hoped for didn't materialize...allowing the thought of hopelessness...which was always not true...once I figured it out.

I often ran into strange roadblocks, and demands from others that I had never heard of before.

Some of these were seeded in childhood by significant others, of course...others seemed to come from some non-recognition of my own real feelings...or no feelings at all.


Still, certain feelings of awe and joy seem to cut through all lacks, at times.

Falling in love, is one. Breath-taking beauty, is another. The innocence and possibility in a child is often stunning...as is a moment of 'bonding'.

Great peacefulness and quiet seem to come with, say, meditation, despite what else is going on.

Quick and logical thinking/action in an emergency doesn't necessarily depend on perfect physical balance within. All limitations are suspended, if only for a moment.


Reading Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ('On Death and Dying'), I see that hope, beauty, fulfillment, and love, a complete happiness, may be the rule, at the end of life...no matter the 'cause' of the death.

She noticed only one handful of regret and self-punishment cases in the more than 1,000 dying people of all ages she sat with.


Someone wrote: "Hope springs eternal."

For the life of me I can't see that there is any such thing as 'false' hope. Hope stands alone, undiminished, I think...the spark of life.

That thought cheers me no end.


Could it be that we only need to recognize something beautiful, to cut right through and banish depression?

It seems to me that we could develop a habit of switching to something fine and uplifting, even if we don't yet believe it possible, whenever we feel the least bit 'down'.

...Like, I remind myself I am still breathing...I ain't done yet!


The self-help author, Jose Silva, suggests we pull a bullet-proof glass between ourselves and any mind-picture we see that we don't like.


I also like the words, NO, CANCEL, and, APPLESAUCE!


Picturing a rose is helpful...or anything else you love.

In fact, substituting something you love for anything you don't, may be great strategy.


Just in case, we could fill our home and work spaces, however humble, with comfort, beauty, love, and promise. All we need to do is write the words, even very tiny, and in hidden spots.

Reminders are powerful...like I say, even if we don't yet believe.

:D


Then, too, we could turn off the TV, or any other source of cacophany...to silence the voices of confusion, put there on purpose to get our attention...a funnel directly into our sub-conscious minds.

How much better would it be to attract our attention to our best feelings of trust and whole truth?

The company which does that, consistantly, believably, will make money hand-over-fist...permanently.

I've suffered from Depression and anxiety for the past 12 years. I'm 47 now. At one point it was so bad that I was curled up in the fetal position praying to die. I tried more antidepressants than you can imagine. Nothing helped. Ativan helped with the anxiety, but the side effects were unacceptable. I've never fully recovered. The anxiety never went away. It's as if I keep it somewhat in chains deep down in the dungeon of my psyche, but it's screaming to be unleashed. Now, perhaps there is something to your theory that some of us are destined to live with it and try to keep it under control. It seems to be that way for me. I had always hoped that one day I could be one of those who just used the happy thoughts to "make it go away," but I don't see that happening. For whatever reason, it's here. It's very difficult to live around it, but I'm better than I was and all I can hope is that I will continue to improve to some degree.
It's interesting that you have been in the presence of "enlightened ones" and still haven't found the much-sought-after cure. I've pictured myself having the experience of being in front of spiritually enlightened gurus, and I do not believe that it would "cure" me.
What I'd like to know is what you mean by real meditation. Maybe it's a small piece of the puzzle I could utilize to try and live with this unmerciful condition. I've read about meditation, but I'd like to know what sort of meditation you've tried.
Thanks.