It's pretty clear to see, pal. You're holding on to a dead fish here. Next thing she's gonna do is do some coworker, then where will you be? Get your finances in order, clear out some bank accounts, load up some traveling money, get the hell out of that marriage. See the lawyer, get visitation, get your manhood back. Don't think or act like you're the only guy that's ever been done wrong by a woman...geez. Stand up straight and tall and make us proud!

Do you tell her that you love her? She sounds insecure to me. Love can heal all wounds, anger (fear) will never lead to happiness.

Sounds like she already have someone ... or like she already have someone on her mind ...

You must let her go .... if she comes back .. then you may have a better position

But right now ...

Tell her this:

I love you now more then ever ... but I must leave you cause what you are doing is not good for me or for us.

Being in relationship with you is painful, unhealthy ... and no matter how much I love you ... I can't change you ... I can only change myself.

The change that I am making is: letting you go ...


If she ever comes back to you ... you will need some marriage counseling ..


White Shark

Since it is she that wants to be free, then maybe she will agree to let you keep the kids? Is sounds like she wants to have a different social life, going out, meeting new people and maybe it would be best for the kids to be with you?

Have you asked?

It would make it easier on you, and maybe for her.

The kids may spend lots of time with her, maybe after school, holidays and some weekends, and you will end up with somewhat equal time to love them?

As for you- you sound like a very nice guy. I am sorry to opine that she is not pulling any punches: she clearly told you she is not in love with you. And she hurt you beyond that by attacking you personally. Not a very nice thing to do.

Whether because she is insecure or insensitive and self centered – the remarks stand there as monuments to her views about you.

You know how you feel about her? That is what YOU deserve. Why on earth would you choose to live out your life not being loved and appreciated? Most marriages with love included still have a very hard journey. It is hard to imagine traveling through life with a partner that is embarrassed of you, and does not want to include you in their social life. It just boggles the mind.

Just tell her that you agree to a separation if you can have physical custody of the children and shared custodial rights with generous visitation. One thing both of you should try to do is to remain friends so that the kids see their parents treating each other with kindness and respect though it may be quite difficult quite often. However it is what would be best for the children, so being on friendly terms is best. I hesitate to use this example, but for lack of common acquaintances - think Demi Moore and Bruce Willis?

They’ve managed to remain a family though no longer married. Whether you like each other or not you will remain family; you’re bonded by the kids - but like brothers and sisters and moms and children that sometimes are happier when no longer living in the same house, so parents may also be happier when not sharing the same day to day life and space. One thing you should not do is jump into other relationships immediately as the divorce road is not easy on the kids and is also very confusing.

You can hire a nanny / housekeeper to watch out for the kids until you get home, and to help you all around the house. With a good match, after a while, they become part of your family.

My thoughts only. Good luck. And all the best wishes.

MadArt (ist)

PS: We had a saying in my family: "Better alone than in bad company"
Your life's partner should strive to lift you up, not bring you down - it does not sound like she's very uplifting.

I really hesitated to respond to this post, because I understand that my husband has come here for support. But one thing he forgot to mention is that the reason I won't have sex with him is because he put his hands on me. How does a woman get past that and let a man like that in again?

We have been separated before, and he sees the kids when he can, so whoever suggested he have the kids suggest something else.

Another major point that he forgot to include in his plea is that I have stayed at home with our two kids for four years and now that I'm out of the house again, he has absolutely lost his mind. He has basically handed me his balls by becoming an insecure jerk.

The problem is this, we have two young kids, and I have no family to help with them. I have a two hour commute to work, therefore need him at home to help pick them up or drop them off when he can. He has made it clear that if he leaves, I am basically on my own as far as getting them to daycare and getting them home. So we are together just for the kids.

I think you should make an attempt to communicate with your wife. Find out exactly what she wants and expects. Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding.

I'm sure glad I'm not married in Amerika. You don't want to get a divorce unless you have to. If you do get a divorce do it through an Arbitrator. Otherwise the Lawyers will get everything. I know someone that filled out their own divorce papers and filed them.

You need to go. BUT, I am a female myself and I cannot stand to be around men who do not constantly want to learn new things. I would never date an actor who makes $10 million a movie if he doesn't want to constantly improve himself (intellectually). Looks are not important to me at all, but if you're eating healthy and working out once in a while, not smoking and not drinking (drunk), and learning new things, just CARING about what's going on in the world, I'd find this type of a guy totally attractive. Just my opinion, since I know a couple of women like myself.

On the other side, I think she is totally disrespectful to you. She knew you before and agreed to be with you, therefore it's a contract that she's breaking. It's a shame, I'm sorry. GO!

you can choose to stay and have your heart kicked around and be broken down. or get out and save your self. honestly, sounds that shes not the kind of women that is worth being upset about. go be with someone else and you will see she really not what you think.

Missmyfamily, as difficult a decision it is to make, you CANNOT live the rest of your life miserable because someone else wants to emotionally abuse you. She is verbally abusing you as well. These are things people see most often in men towards females. You need to stand up on your two feet and let her know that you don't deserve to be treated this way. You don't have to say it in so many words, but two can play that game. Sometimes females lose interest because they don't feel important enough to the guy or they don't feel as though you find them as interesting as you did when you first met them. Your spouse sounds like she's trying her best to push you away and if that's what she wants then handle it. She may not think you would do it, show her wrong! I went through something similar and in the middle of my do it yourself divorce through a company that handles all the paperwork for you.
http://www.divorce4her.com/testimonies.html.
They've really helped me to move on and soon have closer. GL

Jill