I got some cactus tea (nopal, optunia, prickly pear) and plan to use it for blood sugar control. When it comes to brewing it, I already have the directions for that. However---I’ve searched online and can’t find out how often per day I need to drink it and whether or not I should drink it before eating, etc. Has anyone used this tea? If so, please let me know how to properly use it. Thank you!   [End]
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Does anyone have some advice?   [End]
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Thank you for responding. However, I’m looking for advice on how to address this issue with my aunt. It hurts to think that the in-law may have poisoned her relationship with me. My aunt is getting up in years so the sooner I can reach out to her, the better. Does anyone have some advice?   [End]
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I’ll keep this as short as possible. Over a year ago, my father died. His estate has yet to be resolved. No one in the family knows what is going on. At some point, he handed over his affairs to an in-law. When that happened, my father kept me in the dark as to what was going on in his life. In his last few years, he never called me, despite my constant attempts to reach him. Looking back, I now think that the in-law played a big role in all of this. The in-law was in frequent touch with my aunt. After my father passed, I tried to reach my aunt and left a message. She never calle ...
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I started this thread 14 years ago. It didn’t get much traction so I stopped checking. Recently, I took a look and have been surprised at how many of you responded. It makes me feel less alone. My mother had the condition. When I was a young child, she lied to me and told me that all her teeth were capped. She then said when I was older, all my teeth would get capped, too. About a year before I was due to get caps, she admitted to me that she had dentures---not caps. She also said she didn’t want me to get caps because they didn’t work for her. The dentist lied and said that t ...
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This happened 7 years ago. Please read through the thread. His attacker was arrested and the OP and his mom got counseling.   [End]
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Please read through all the posts. This thread is really old. He did get help and Dave got arrested.   [End]
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I try to meditate everyday. Some days with not much success---either I fall asleep or have an interruption. A couple of days ago, I was meditating and was shown a name. It was a name that I didn’t recognize at all. Yet it was there very clearly as if typed by a typewriter. Later that day I googled the name. A person (female) with the exact spelling of both names came up in the search. It was someone whose path would most likely never cross mine. The only thing I saw in common was that she lived in my favorite city. This is a city that if I had the money, I would move there in ...
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My daughter and son-in-law have two kids who are pre-teens. Recently, she let us know that she is going to divorce son-in-law. I won’t go into details but will say this---it’s not because of abuse, addiction or adultery. It’s a problem that, in my opinion, they could work together to find a good solution. My heart aches for the kids. The family moved 2 months ago, which is stressful enough when you consider transferring to a new school. And now this. They are separated at this point. The kids are with her. She works long, crazy hours and will now have to hire babysitters. M ...
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I’ve read through your posts and notice that you said one of the children is yours. You need to fight to get full custody of your child. However, first you need to have a DNA test on that child to be sure the child is yours. Given how she cheated on you, you need to make sure the child is yours. Get a good lawyer and best of luck to you. My brother got involved with a woman who is psycho. They never married and had 2 children. He had a job that took him on the road from time to time. He was hearing through the grapevine that his GF was cheating on him while he was away. When h ...
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Thank you, SS! No there isn’t substance abuse going on. In fact, when he was in his 20s, he had a brush with the law which made him decide to not drink or smoke pot ever again. Surprisingly, he has stuck to that all these years. My SIL met him when he ended a turbulent relationship with a woman who is a psycho---and the mother of his 2 kids. They never married but long story short, he got full custody of the kids (but first had them DNA tested to make sure that they were his). My SIL took both him and the kids into her house (she was divorced and childless). Eventually, they ma ...
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So good to hear from you, SS! Hope all is going well for you! Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m inclined to try to talk to my sister-in-law. Occasionally she calls me without my brother being present. That would be a good time to bring this up to her.   [End]
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My brother, whom I rarely talk to, gave me a call recently. As usual, he did most of the talking, while I listened and got a word in edgewise from time to time. During the conversation, he said something that reminded me that he said the same thing some years back. At the time, I didn’t think much of it as he does say some off the wall things. What he said was that he wants to be bitten by a rattlesnake. I asked why. He said he wants to know what it feels like. To which, I said to him, ”You better have access to anti-venom.” He said, he didn’t care about that and didn’t care wh ...
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Hi, SS I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Another poster suggested contacting the authorities with your concerns about this being a sham marriage. The appropriate agency to call is ICE. Other than that, there isn’t much more you can do. You expressed your concerns to your son and he didn’t take your advice. At least you tried---that’s the important part. ICE tends to take green card fraud seriously. Plus stories abound about men marrying a foreign woman who is only in it for the green card. These women, at some point, try to provoke the husband into as ...
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Thank you for your response. The son is, at times, unstable. He is in touch with my living brother but chooses to not be in touch with us. Honestly, I’m fine with that because one never knows when he’ll go off the rails again or what he will do during those times. I do know that things will never be perfect---that’s a given.   [End]
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SS---Good to hear from you! I’ve decided to not call SIL very often and to not say anything to her that I know will get back to her mother. I agree with what you suggest. SIL called a week ago and I let the answering machine pick up. I haven’t returned her call but sent her an email that was brief and thanked her for thinking of me. Hope all is well with you!   [End]
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I’ve written before about my sister-in-law and got good advice. Now, I need advice with this issue regarding her. In a nutshell---SIL and my brother who died have a son who is not stable. Sometimes, he behaves, other times he goes off the rails. During one of his off the rails times, he surreptitiously recorded my SIL, her mother and friend trash talking about our family. He then played the recording for my other brother (who is still living) and his wife. This caused living brother to stop talking to SIL and did some things that made her life miserable. She is bewildered as to wh ...
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Thank you, SoulfulSurvivor! I truly appreciate the support!   [End]
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SoulfulSurvivor---Good to hear from you! I’ll provide a little more clarity regarding this whole mess of a situation. Son has always hated his mother (my SIL). I once read that mentally ill kids tend to hate their mother even if the mother was the more loving and caring of the two parents. That’s what has appeared to have happened here. What Son recorded was his mother (my SIL) and her mother (son’s grandmother) venting about the living brother. I think that Son’s intention is to hurt and isolate his mother. By playing the recording to the living brother, he knew that living ...
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Thank you! I know that my brother thought that by telling me what SIL’s son did that it would make me abandon my SIL. I refuse to do that. You are right---she is a good-hearted person. About 10 years ago, she was a big help to me when I had a crisis---and she helped out without my asking. I am forever grateful to her.   [End]
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I’ll try to make this short. My brother passed away a couple of years ago. He and my SIL had a son. Son turned out to be a difficult child who grew in to a difficult young adult with some mental health issues. My brother was a depressive who didn’t pay much attention to Son. My SIL was the one who did all that she could to get Son the help he needed. When my brother was terminally ill, Son made their lives miserable and they had to kick him out. Meanwhile, my other brother never liked SIL. Yet she was always kind to him, which isn’t easy given that he’s rude, inconsiderate and ...
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Nice post but---it’s been 5 years since the OP started this thread. Would be nice to hear how he’s doing.   [End]
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Thank you! I wish you all the best!   [End]
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Please read through the whole thread. The OP posted 4 years ago. His attacker was arrested and he and his mother both went to counseling.   [End]
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Please find a good counselor and work through this. You sound like you are an honest person who wants to do the right thing when it comes to others. However, you are being way too hard on yourself by worrying about every little thing. It’s possible that you suffer from anxiety. I’m no doctor but this is something you can explore with a good counselor. Best of luck to you!   [End]
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I take it that you are the OP? Just wondering because if you are the OP, you used a number and now are using your screen-name. If so, take a look at Family Services: http://www.familyservicesinc.net/ This is a good place to start when you don’t have health insurance. You also need to find out what is going on with your wife, as she, too, has issues that she needs to get resolved. Best of luck to you!   [End]
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Apparently, your wife thinks you’re too needy. You said that you both went to counseling. Was the issue of your neediness addressed? Yes, there is such a thing as too much attention. For one thing, too many compliments can be smothering. Your wife even said that it was ”excessive”. So, listen to her and back off some. Have you gotten help for your depression? If not, talk to your doctor about it. Treatment is available. Is your wife willing to try counseling again with another counselor? Perhaps the first one wasn’t a good fit.   [End]
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Please read through the thread. This happened 4 years ago. He told his mom and ”Dave” was arrested.   [End]
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I know that you mean well but this thread is 4 years old. Read through the responses. The OP did get help and Dave did get arrested.   [End]
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Please don’t have unprotected sex. Not only could you get pregnant but you are at risk for contracting STDs. Also, there are no guarantees that no sperm escaped before withdrawal. Plus, it can take sperm as long as 3 days to reach the egg. Here are some links for you to read on this subject: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/06/pullout-method-contraception-my-stor...   [End]
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My condolences to you. I know how hard it is to lose a pet.   [End]
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Well...I think his excuse for not defriending her on FB is rather lame. What is there to stop her from retaliating after she moves? Also, what is there to stop her from driving to where you live and doing something irrational? They only thing I can think of that would stop her (or at least slow her down) is if she is moving overseas. He is allowing her to remain in his life because 1) He still has feelings for her. or; 2) He is afraid to confront her. If it is #1, then he needs to admit to it and put your relationship on hold until he deals with this. If it is #2, he either nee ...
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To me, it’s a horrible trade off to put up with physical violence in order to have some fun times. My father used to put up with my mother. She was verbally and emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive. He never stood up for us kids when we were on the receiving end of her wrath. Instead, he would tell us not to argue with her because when we did, she would yell at him later. One day, my husband and I were talking and I wondered why my father put up with this treatment. My husband said that for my father, there had to be a trade-off. My mother would wait on him hand ...
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Is it fair and correct to suggest that a victim has psychological issues? --------------- It depends. A crime victim, who for example, got mugged or attacked may have been an emotionally healthy person before the crime occurred. However,anyone who has experienced a trauma, does get affected mentally by the experience to some degree. People with low self-esteem and low self-confidence often do get into toxic relationships. I grew up being verbally and emotionally abused and for years I was attracted to people who treated me that way. It took time for me to realize what was happening ...
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Sorry to hear this. You say that you don’t suffer from low self-esteem. I beg to differ. With better self-esteem, you would have been aware that you didn’t have to put up with him and would have moved on. Too many people (male and female) feel that if they were to dump a bad person, that they would always be alone. You fell into the trap of thinking --- If I did______ then he will be happy and won’t abuse me again. Thus you allowed the vicious cycle to continue. My goodness! When you heard that he was convicted of manslaughter, you should have run for the hills! Is he now ...
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This is a letter that was published in ”Dear Prudence”. I read her column and recognized it right away. So...I’m not sure if you are the original Dear Prudence letter writer and want more advice than you got from ”Prudence” plus those who comment on her columns or...?   [End]
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I’m sorry to hear this. It’s odd that the police aren’t doing anything about it. Going by what you’ve written, I would suggest calling the local district attorney’s office and see what they can do for you. Also, consider contacting a lawyer. People have sued police departments before. If you don’t have money for a lawyer, you do have options --- 1) Some lawyers will take a case on a contingency basis. In other words, they won’t charge you up front but when you get a cash settlement, the lawyer takes 1/3 of it. 2) You could get in touch with your local legal aid. You could a ...
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Sad to say, but at 22, she is an adult so there really isn’t anything you can do to stop her. It sounds like she isn’t very informed about sociopaths. If she were truly informed, she would know that there is no way she will be able to fix him. So, while you can’t stop her, perhaps you can pass along info that explains that he will always be a sociopath. I’m hoping that one of our posters who has excellent knowledge on this topic will see this post. If she sees it, she will pass along lots of helpful info to you. When your daughter finally realizes that she can’t change this m ...
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Your story is not uncommon. Many women who have been raped, and not gotten proper counseling, put on weight because either consciously or subconsciously, they know that the extra weight tends to make them unattractive to most men. That way, the thinking goes, men won’t bother them. Please do all you can to get proper counseling. If you haven’t yet, go to www.rainn.org for help in locating a good counselor. If you are not in the US, the folks at RAINN can point you in the right direction when it comes to counseling in your own country. I wish you all the best!   [End]
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Please heed SoulfulSurvivor’s excellent advice. Don’t hesitate---get in touch with RAINN. Doing so will put you on the road to healing.   [End]
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Oh my! I’m sorry that this happened to you! Some questions --- Did you report the rapes to the police? Did you get counseling after they happened? You should have reported the rapes (I hope you did) because not only does your ex need to be held accountable for his actions but if he did this to you, he will do it to other women if he is not stopped. If you didn’t get counseling, you need to do so ASAP. For help in this process either go to www.rainn.org, or if you are in the US, you can call their hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE. The person on the other end of the line will help you ge ...
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Your story is sad. You need to remember that your mother’s actions were just as despicable as were your father’s. Have you gotten any counseling? If not, take a look at this website: www.rainn.org   [End]
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Having read your post, here is what I have to say: First of all, it is understandable that you feel bitter. I, too, grew up in a home where I wasn’t always treated well. So I know what it is like to feel anger and bitterness about the situation. That said, you need to find a way to move on. You will never forget what happened to you but you do need to deal with it. Going through life constantly feeling bitter and angry will eat away at you. Here is what I suggest you do --- You need to go back to Canada. Actually, it surprises me at how many times you returned to Mexico. Fo ...
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He did get counseling. In fact, both he and his mother did.   [End]
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Soulful Survivor gave you some excellent advice. I urge you to follow this advice. It’s understandable that you feel bad about what happened to her. However, you have your own future to consider. Go to college, as you are planning to do, and get an education. If you allow her to browbeat you into staying with her and raising this child, you will regret it. If you want to help her, make sure that she looks at the RAINN website. If she hasn’t reported the rape to the police, she needs to do so. If she knows the rapist personally, she needs to file charges. In the end, if she d ...
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If the child is not yours, you are under no obligation to ”father it”. Are you certain that you are not the father? If so, she has no right to expect you to father her child. I hope that she is getting counseling for the rape and that she reported it to the police. If she hasn’t had any counseling, refer her to www.rainn.org for guidance. If you have had unprotected sex with her and she wants to keep the child, insist on a DNA test. Should the test show that you are not the father, let her know that you don’t want to be raising and supporting a child that’s not yours. Does she ...
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I feel very badly for your child. S/he is an innocent victim in all of this. It’s a shame that neither of you thought about your child when you cheated on each other. That said, while I believe that when there is a child involved, both parties should do all they can to make things work, in your case, I think it’s best to divorce. It seems to me that neither of you are capable of keeping your word. If you stay together, it will be the same thing over and over again. Meanwhile, your child will be the one most hurt by both of your actions. Also, given that you’ve both cheated, are ...
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Sorry to hear that. Are there any free or cheap clinics in your area? Any community health centers? I used a community health center once when I didn’t have any insurance. I would be reluctant to diagnose you as I’m not a doctor.   [End]
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I think that you should see a doctor to get an A1C test. Also, tell the doctor everything you wrote here.   [End]
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You really do need to get some counseling to help you deal with this. A good place to start is here: http://www.rainn.org/ And if you are in the US, you can call RAINN’s hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE I also suggest that you read this woman’s story here: http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1495494#i Although, she didn’t post it in that thread, she PMed me and let me know that she called the RAINN hotline and they helped her find a good counselor in her area. She told me how much counseling made a positive difference in her life. So, please take that first step and get in ...
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Re: coconut oil --- People who have IBS-D and Crohn’s have gotten some relief by adding 2 teaspoons of flaked coconut per day to their diets. I have IBS-D and the flaked coconut has been a tremendous help!   [End]
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No, it’s not normal. Are you sure your period didn’t start immediately after intercourse? Even so, that’s an awful lot of bleeding for a period. I suggest that you go for a GYN check up ASAP.   [End]
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Could it be that your period started? That could explain the bleeding and the blood clot. If that’s not the case and the bleeding doesn’t clear up soon, then I recommend seeing a doctor.   [End]
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From what you’ve written, I gather that you have not told this woman about your feelings. If so, be sure to keep it that way. I’m guessing that with 2 kids under the age of 2 (twins?), that your home life revolves around the daily care of the kids. No doubt, you and your wife either can’t or won’t make some time for just the two of you. Thus, it’s easy for you, once you’re at work, to spend time chatting with this woman. Basically, you’re getting from her (adult one on one time) that you are not getting from your wife. If I’m right, it’s up to you to take the first step and make ...
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This is something that is better left unsaid. Think about it --- what purpose would it serve to tell your girlfriend? As you said, it would crush her. This is not to say that what happened was right---it isn’t. You recognize that what you did was wrong and have made positive changes in your life so that you don’t repeat this again. You also said that the other girl regrets her actions and it’s highly unlikely that she will tell anyone. So, let it go. If you are having problems letting go and feel that this is eating you up inside, then perhaps, you could consider getting counselin ...
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Here is what I found by Googling: http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html http://reference.medscape.com/drug-interactionchecker https://www.walgreens.com/pharmacy/library/checkdrug/selectfirstdrug.jsp http://www.cvs.com/drug/interaction-checker.jsp Any one of those sites would be helpful to you.   [End]
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Some supplements that can help: Prickly pear cactus --- this helps with metabolizing carbs. Swanson Vitamins sells it in capsule form. Gymnema Sylvestre --- this helps with insulin regulation. Cinnamon in capsule form. Coconut oil in either capsule form or adding the oil itself to foods. Chromium GTF along with magnesium malate vitamin D3 --- take 1000 i.u. per every 25 lbs. of body weight on a daily basis Ideally, following a vegan diet is optimal. However, my husband and I eat vegan 5 days a week and noticed an improvement in our health. Moderate exercise helps, s ...
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Back when Jimmy Carter was running for president, he said in an interview that he never cheated on his wife but he did ”lust in his heart”. In other words, he was saying that he had fantasies but never went further than that. It’s normal to indulge in fantasies, even after you are married. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you leave it at that. If you think there is a danger that you would cross the line the next time you and Michael IM each other, then don’t allow yourself to converse with him again. Too many people start out innocently messaging but end up crossing th ...
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I’m assuming that by your usage of ”whilst” that you are not in the US? The reason I ask is that different countries have different policies when treating war vets. For example, here in the US if it is a war-related injury, then what ever care a vet needs gets fully covered. That said, I don’t know how other countries handle it. Do you have any idea as to why he hasn’t fully correct his problem? Is it because the government won’t cover his dental care? Or does he dislike going to dentists? From what you wrote about him having had bridges in the past, I’m guessing that if he do ...
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I have type O blood and have no problems with taking coconut oil. My husband is also type O and he doesn’t have problems with coconut oil either. Is it possible that you just have an allergy to coconut and that allergy is unrelated to your blood type?   [End]
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”No judging please” you say, but I’m not sure what you mean. I looked at your past posts to see if I could learn more about your situation. It seems that you’ve had a problem with your daughter-in-law for several years now. Back then, I saw that you got great advice in that thread, so I won’t go there now. As for your daughter---If you say that you mention to her about how badly she has treated you in the past, she doesn’t remember doing so. Possibly, she is a narcissist but I don’t know for sure. Have you tried sitting down with your daughter and asking her why she has a probl ...
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You’re post is confusing. You say you’ve been with this guy on and off for 3 months. Yet, you said you had a baby. I take it that given the timeline, the guy in question is not the father of your baby? You pleaded with his father to bail him out of jail. It sounds like his father was reluctant to do so. Why was that? Has this guy been in trouble with the law before? Or was his crime so bad that his father didn’t want to risk bailing him out? Was his father worried about him skipping out after he was bailed out of jail? If the answer is ”yes” to any --- or all --- of these quest ...
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I am so very sorry that you and your family are going through some very hard times. What I didn’t see in your post is if your family has contacted social services. If not, I strongly urge you to do so. I can understand the reluctance to ask for assistance---especially monetary assistance---however, it’s there to be used as a safety net. You and your family certainly would NOT be abusing it. Your dad lost his job. You mention that his unemployment benefits will run out soon. He should be looking for a job---any job---as long as it is honest work and he can physically do the job. ...
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I’m so sorry this happened to your son. He needs to get some counseling to deal with what happened. Here are some possible places where he could start: Male Survivor: http://www.malesurvivor.org/index.htm There is also RAINN: http://www.rainn.org/ or call 1-800-656-HOPE Your son needs to look at the above websites, then take that first step that will get him on the road to healing. In fact, I suggest that you call RAINN to ask for advice on how to deal with your niece. In the meantime, I think that you should keep your distance from her. Once all the facts come out, then ...
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It sounds like you never went to the police or told your parents. You must tell the police. If you find it difficult to do so, then call a rape crisis hotline for support. I take it that you are not in the USA, am I right? If so, do an online search to find phone numbers for your local hotline. You must take this first step. It’s important that you get help. As I said, the person at the other end of the line can help you with filing a police report. Not only that, but she can provide assistance when it comes to getting counseling. Filing a police report is important because it ...
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I should have added in my post that my husband and I take coconut oil capsules everyday. In my case, I add 2 TBSPS. flaked coconut to my morning oatmeal---mainly because it helps with my IBS-D. In the evening, I take a coconut oil capsule. My husband takes 2 capsules a day. Here is a link that explains how coconut oil is helpful for those with type 2 diabetes: http://coconutoil.com/diabetes/ Some oil in the diet is necessary. There are good oils and bad oils. Good oils are beneficial. As for carbs --- this is my personal take and experience --- We still have some carbs ever ...
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Good advice! We certainly do keep track of the fat content in our diets --- and like you, urge others to do so, too.   [End]
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Here’s how I handle type 2 diabetes (and I’m not on meds). My husband and I switched to a mostly vegan diet which we follow roughly 5 days a week. 2 days a week, I usually aim to eat some fish for my main meal. We’re on the treadmill 3 days a week for just over 30 minutes at a time. Each session comes out to a 1 1/4 mile walk. We take vitamin D-3 everyday. The proper dosage is 1000 i.u per 25 lbs. of body weight. In other words, someone weighing 100 lbs. would take 4000 i.u. per day. We also take 3 cinnamon caplets per day plus some Chromium GTF. For blood sugar control 40 ...
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You’re welcome, ychi. I wish you all the best as you work on your healing.   [End]
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Time can sometimes have a way of blurring and softening our memories. So, it’s understandable that you didn’t ”remember stuff” right away. Without knowing all the details, I’m thinking that either your ex’s brain damage could be responsible for his behavior to you or he is, as you say, looking for his next victim. If it is the latter, no doubt he is looking to soften you up in the hopes that you will take him back and take care of him. If so, don’t fall for it. Best wishes to you!   [End]
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I’m very sorry to read what happened to you. Please don’t feel regret because you didn’t call 911 right away. You were frightened and in shock. That said, you would benefit from counseling to help you with the PTSD. Here is a link that you can look into: http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-for-crime-victims/find-local-assistance---connect-directory Here is a link to an FBI page that has helpful info: http://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/victim_assistance/coping I urge you to get help so that you can get your life back. Best wishes to you.   [End]
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You’re welcome. Do you mean what were my symptoms regarding my gallbladder? If so, I suspected that something was wrong months before I got a correct diagnosis. I had a pain under under my rib cage on the right. Also, I was having digestive problems. I took antacids which offered temporary relief. Finally, I went to the doctor who misdiagnosed me. He even joked and said ”Are you sure you didn’t go out last night and have one too many?” Then he sent me for an xray and told me that I was constipated and to take a laxative. I did what he said even though I knew that I wasn’t constipa ...
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I have IBS-D and had my gallbladder removed. The removal did worsen my IBS-D somewhat. After years of trying to get the doctors and nurse practitioners to listen to me, my doctor finally prescribed Cholestyramine (generic name---Prevalite) for me. It gave me my life back! So...there is help available. If, after the removal, you are still having problems with IBS-D and your doctor doesn’t mention Cholestyramine/Prevalite, be sure and ask about it. BTW, I am glad that my gallbladder is gone. I’ve never regretted the surgery. My dad and brother have had theirs removed, too, and fe ...
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Thank you, Moderator!   [End]
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http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1949855#i   [End]
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I’m sorry that you went through this. That said, it sounds like you never got any counseling, am I right? If so, please take the next step and call the RAINN Hotline at: 1-800-656-HOPE. In addition, take a look at their website: http://www.rainn.org/ When you call the hotline, the person on the other end of the line can help you find counseling. Also, discuss the possibility of pressing charges against your ex-boyfriend. If he did this to you, he will do it to other women if he isn’t stopped. Best of luck to you. Please take that first step toward healing and call the hotline.
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Thank you for your kind words. I suggest that you post this as a separate thread so that others can see it and offer advice. IMO, you can’t heal as long as you remain in the marriage. Consider getting a good lawyer and exploring your options. You deserve better! Best wishes to you.   [End]
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You’re welcome. I’m glad that you wrote back. It’s true that not everyone wants to chat. I’ve come across store clerks that are rude despite my being polite to them. It’s best not to let people like that get you down. As I said, you’re not alone. Many of us are in similar situations. Over the years, I’ve had many people I considered to be friends who stop keeping in touch. Yet I still believe that one day I will meet someone who will turn out to be a really good friend. It sounds to me like you’re on the right track. Keep being friendly to others. One day you will connect ...
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It may surprise you to hear this but, these days, you are not alone. Many of us feel disconnected. In past times, people were less mobile and often tended to stay in the same town/city/neighborhood for their entire lives---as did their extended families. You said that you moved to a new state for financial reasons. Are you living in a transient area? If so, in such areas, people (generally speaking) don’t want to put in the effort to make connections. Their thinking is that people will move anyway, so why bother. Yet, paradoxically, if you are in an area where people still tend ...
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The lesson I’m learning is why did it take so long to learn to not put myself in a Lion’s cage ------------------- Yes, why do we do that? For myself, the answer was somewhat complex. I felt bad at the idea of cutting off all contact because, after all, she was my mother. Plus, I knew that if I did cut her off, she would be calling every friend and relative and telling them lies about me, thus making herself to be the victim. People who didn’t live with her had no idea what she was really like as she behaved better around non-family members. So...I compromised and kept contact ...
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SS---Excellent post filled with helpful info for others! You’ve been on my mind and I’m glad that you posted this update. Please know that I send hugs your way and wish you all the best!   [End]
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It is great. You can learn more by reading: ”Ask and it is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks   [End]
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Excellent post, SS! In the past, I’ve read about this technique. Your post reminds me that I, too, need to practice this. Wishing you all the best!   [End]
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Thank you for the follow up. I’m glad that you called RAINN. As for the second number you called, did you ask if your call was being recorded? Most places will tell you up front that your call may be recorded. If you weren’t told that, chances are that it wasn’t recorded. Yes, doing the right thing isn’t always the easy thing to do. However, I’m sure that you would want to see this man put away for years to come. That way, other girls would be spared from his abuse. It’s good that they are making an effort to protect your privacy. But here’s food for thought --- even if you ...
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Call --- 1(800) 799-SAFE This is a hotline for battered women. The person on the other end of the line will help you get out of your nightmarish situation. Also, look at: http://www.thehotline.org/ For more info. Please make the first move! From the sound of it---and I don’t mean to be harsh but this must be said---your husband will eventually kill you. Call the hotline when he is out of the house. Tell them your story and don’t leave anything out. Tell the person on the other end of the line exactly what you wrote here and also be sure to add every detail that you ca ...
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My mother died over 10 years ago. I didn’t cry when she died---and that part made me sad. Basically, I mourned for the mother I had always wanted and never had. The only time I felt sadness was when she was in the hospice. She held my hand, then put my hand on her face and rubbed her face with it. That action triggered a lump in my throat. She, too, constantly raged at her father long past his death. Yet, if I said anything negative, she would get angry and then idolize him. This type of behavior is common --- the abused one relates to and sympathizes with his/her abuser. I d ...
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You’re welcome. When you call the RAINN hotline, ask about getting some counseling. They can help you with that. It’s good that you are aware of what your mother did to you. So many people don’t have that awareness and repeat the patterns with their own children. Having awareness is the most important step when it comes to breaking the cycle. My own mother was an alcoholic and a narcissist who was verbally abusive. I worked hard to treat my own child better than I was treated. My mother had a father who was not only verbally abusive but physically abusive as he gave his child ...
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You need to look at this website: http://www.rainn.org/ They have a hotline, 1-800-656-HOPE. Call the hotline and tell the person at the other end of the line your entire story. Ask for advice on how to handle this situation. I don’t know if you got any counseling to deal with what happened. If not, RAINN can help with that.   [End]
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Has justice been served? I don’t know. However, have you thought of writing the court and telling of your experience with him? Doing so might not only get him a longer sentence but it also might give other girls the courage to speak up. Who knows just how many other girls he treated the same way he treated you?   [End]
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I agree with the poster who said that the two of you need to sit down and talk this out. You need to tell James everything you’ve written here. Just lay out the facts as they are. Avoid making a direct criticism of him. Tell hin the things that bother you. Then ask him how he thinks that they should be resolved. Let him know that if the relationship is to survive, resolving these problems is necessary. If he balks at making major changes or promises you that he will pull his weight, then reneges---it will be up to you to decide what to do next. Would it be acceptable for you to ...
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At 19, she is just starting out being on her own. That said, my advice still stands. It appears that she is confused about her sexua| preference. With her being 19 and you being 25, a 6 year age difference is more pronounced than if she were 29 and you were 35. A 29 year old would be more mature and have more life experience. A 19 year old and a 25 year old are too far apart when it comes to maturity levels. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. However, it’s clear that she needs to grow up and figure out if she is gay, straight or bi. As I said before, it’s best to ju ...
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I gather that you’re both young since you mentioned that she is going off to college. Am I correct with this assumption? If so, you both have your lives ahead of you. From what you wrote, it sounds like she doesn’t know what she wants. Perhaps she is struggling with issues regarding her sexuality. The best thing for you to do is move on. You say that you can’t imagine being married to anyone but her. As you meet other people, I suspect that feeling will change.   [End]
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Raynbo---I haven’t seen you here in CZ lately. Hope all is well. Recently, I was playing around with a real estate website and decided to look up one of my childhood homes. As I was looking at the photo of the house, just doing that started to dredge up old, unpleasant memories. So, quickly, I closed the page. I bring this up because living where we are now, I can’t avoid passing some places that dredge up bad memories---and believe that makes it harder to heal and move on for me. So, yes, my goal is to move out of the area at some point.   [End]
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http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1909927#i   [End]
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You ask what others think, well you’ve got it! I feel very, very sad for your daughter. She has a mother that puts partying and her own selfish interests before her child. As parents, we do need to have outside interests. However, you seem to forget one important thing---your child comes first and foremost. Writing about your partying behavior also tells me that you need to grow up. If you and your husband didn’t have a child, I would say ”Hey, to each his own.” When you put a child in the picture, things change. At some point, your child will be old enough to figure out what ...
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Thank you, everyone, for your responses. I was looking to hear what others thought about this issue, and you all didn’t disappoint! It seems we all react differently when it comes to this topic. It got me thinking about the few times I’ve visited the town where I spent most of my childhood. For me, my childhood, overall, wasn’t happy. Yet, when I would drive by the old family home, the bad memories didn’t come flooding back right away. Instead, I found myself focussing on how different the house looked and what things in the neighborhood changed and what stayed the same. Yet, at t ...
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First of all, I agree with the advice you were given about that pervert of a dentist---report him---not just to the police but also to the licensing board in your state. From reading your post, I’m not sure why you have a problem with dentures. Is it because the ones you tried were ill-fitting? If so, a good dentist can work with you to get a good fit. How long ago did you try dentures? If it has been quite some time ago, you may find that these days the quality of the workmanship and the materials used to be far better. From what you’ve written, it sounds like you’ve had several ...
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SS, once again, thank you so much! I plan to write in my journal more frequently. Our daughter hasn’t lived with us for quite some time. After she flunked out of college, we did the tough love thing with her---and she proceeded to put us through more grief. These days, she married the father of her kids and they now live about a 3 hour drive from us. When she was living at the other end of the country, we would visit, then she would cry when we left. With all that I now know, I think one of the hardest things is that I don’t fully trust her and wonder when the other shoe will drop.
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Whatever you do, you have no reason to ever trash yourself. Yet as a parent I know it’s difficult not to. That too is a learning experience. --------------- Thank you for the above. I think that one reason I’m having difficulty with what happened with our daughter was that I set out to be a better mother than my own mother was to us kids. I’ve written about my childhood previously here on CZ. In a nutshell, my mother was a narcissist, alcoholic plus verbally and emotionally abusive. My father was the perfect enabler who didn’t stand up for us kids, basically throwing us under the ...
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Thank you so much, SS! I keep going back to what you wrote, particularly the following: Relocating, in some people’s views, may be an attempt to run from a situation. Other people may view relocation as an opportunity to start over. It depends entirely upon what the motivations are. --------------- That is so true. I have a brother who is never happy where he lives. He is always looking at some other place and thinks that life will be so much better in the other place. For example, he’ll point out things that he hates about the current area he lives in, then point to anothe ...
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Thank you for a thoughtful and useful post. There was more to it than just flunking out. To get into all the details would require a very long post. I’m very sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best.   [End]
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I’m interested in hearing what others think about this issue. Do you think that it helps to move away from an area when there are bad memories? I know that when you move, you take all your memories with you. However, when you go someplace locally and you see things that trigger bad memories, it can be difficult. A little bit of background --- Our daughter put us through a lot of grief which culminated with her flunking out of college due to partying. In trying to find out what went wrong, I found out a lot of things that I didn’t know about previously. Now, driving around the ...
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You start here: http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html Look for a Nar-anon meeting near you. Also, here: http://www.coda.org/ Look for a Codependents Anonymous meeting near you. These are good first steps. Meetings are free of charge. However, donations are welcome. So, when you go to a meeting for either of these 2 groups, if you are able, donate what you can. Good luck to you --- and please get going!   [End]
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SS---Thank you for posting an update. I have thought about you quite a bit and wondered how things were going for you. With this post, you have shown once again, what a strong woman you are. You’ve also passed along some very helpful advice for us all. By doing so, you’ve also shown once again what a generous, giving person you are. I know that in the long run, you are going to be okay. Your post was very moving. I found myself reading it with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. Please know that you will be in my thoughts. Do keep us posted. By detailing your exp ...
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You’re welcome. I’m glad that you have a loving grandma in your life. It sounds like she will be a positive, supportive help to you and your sister. You took the first step by posting here. It’s clear that you want help to deal with all of this. Calling the hotline will be the next step. Best of luck to you and your sister as you both heal.   [End]
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For goodness sake---listen to me ---YOU ARE NOT DIRT! I guess you’re under 18 and still have to live at home? If so, did you look at the link I gave you? Are you able to call the RAINN Hotline? Of course, you feel love and loyalty to your mother. However, what your mother is doing is wrong. To blame you for ruining her trip, is simply unbelievable! I would first recommend getting in touch with RAINN. Listen to what the person on the other end of the line has to say. Whatever they suggest that you do, let them know what concerns you have. Ask what can be done for your broth ...
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Your mother will hate you for telling people what he did to you???? I’m sorry but---that is so wrong on so many levels! Your mother should be looking out for you. No, not everybody goes through a rape! Good grief! Am I understanding this correctly? If so, I can’t stop shaking my head! If you are unable to call the RAINN hotline from Canada (I’m not sure if you can), at least look at their website for help: http://www.rainn.org/get-help Please get some help! Once again --- If I’m reading this all correctly, your mother is so very, very wrong!   [End]
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From what I could gather from reading your post, you were raped by JT. After the rape, you said nothing to anyone---and he raped other girls? I also gather that you never received any counseling after the rape? And you didn’t report it to the police? If I’m right, the first thing you do upon finishing reading my post is to call RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) 1-800-656-HOPE. When you call, tell the counselor everything you wrote here. The person on the other end of the line can work with you to get the help you need. Please make the call so that your healing c ...
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Sure, I understand your concerns as he is your cousin. You want him to have someone that loves him, of course. However, both he and his wife---from what you’ve written here---are behaving badly. It’s not like he’s a saint sitting at home being faithful to her while she is out behaving badly. The blame here is to be shared. As I pointed out before, they are 2 consenting adults. However, if you truly believe that their daughter is being neglected and/or abused (remember---abuse comes in many forms---physical, sexual, emotional and verbal) then you or someone else in the family needs ...
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With all due respect, why does all of this concern you? Neither of them behaves well, yet they stay together. Obviously, it’s 2 consenting adults doing their thing. Yes, the whole relationship does sound strange but that’s between them. The only thing that should concern you --- is their child being abused or neglected? If so, then family members should intervene for the child’s sake.   [End]
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Can people really love someone? Can marriages really last? ------------------- The answer to both questions is ”yes”. You’ve been through a lot in your life. Good for you for going for therapy. If it’s not working, then perhaps your therapist isn’t a good fit for you---or isn’t a competent therapist. I’m surprised that once you turn 18, you will be out and fully on your own. Many states (perhaps all?) now offer support in some form or other for foster kids until they turn 21. You should ask a social worker about that. Don’t give up on therapy. If you are in a position to r ...
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Thank you, Fledgling --- great post! We recently donated goods to a local charity that helps the homeless. However, we still have more things that can be given away. Yes, it’s true---A slanted surface for a desk is definitely a good way to prevent paper clutter from accumulating. I’ve long since given up subscribing to magazines. When I got a pile of magazines that I kept telling myself that I would get around to reading---I knew that it was time to stop the subscriptions. These days, with so many things being online, there is less paper to accumulate. Happy New Year to you, ...
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I hope that you see this response... How was she able to read a message sent to you on your computer? Did you happen to leave it up on the screen? Or does she know your passwords and regularly snoops? If it is the latter, I suggest changing all your passwords. People are entitled to some privacy in a relationship---not every single thing has to be shared. As for the one night stand --- did this happen before you were dating her? If so, it’s in the past so she shouldn’t get upset about it. Or did it happen while you were dating? If so, then it’s understandable that she’s upset. ...
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SS --- I’m so glad that you posted, since you’ve been on my mind. Strong, compassionate woman that you are, I, too, know that you are going to be okay. Please know that you are in my thoughts as you deal with everything. Best wishes to you for a Happy 2012!   [End]
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He may be a lawyer and 15 years younger than you but that doesn’t mean you’re ”screwed”. You just need to find the best lawyer and hire him/her. In the meantime, document everything that he has said and done. Have your kids do the same. Stop feeling defeated (that’s what he wants you to feel) and get going! Best of luck to you.   [End]
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Talk to your doctor about taking cholestyramine (generic name, prevalite). After I had my gallbladder removed, my IBS-D worsened. Finally, I got a doctor to listen and as a result, got a prescription for it. Taking this medication has given me my life back. Another thing you could try --- eat 2 teaspoons of flaked coconut a day. I learned about this from a digestive health newsletter. I started eating coconut before getting the prescription for cholestyramine and noticed a big difference.   [End]
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I stalked the guy’s facebook and found that he keeps on writing about her. He even posts love message to her wall. She regularly likes the posts but doesn’t reply anything. --------------------- Well...I’m assuming that your reference to ”stalk[ing] the guy’s facebook” refers to the fact that he has his privacy settings on low and what he puts out there is for all to see? I’m assuming that she is the same way? Is that how you know all this stuff? Since you both work together, dating a co-worker can be a sticky situation. First of all, does your company have any prohibitions rega ...
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Soulful --- My heart goes out to you. I’m reading this with tears in my eyes. Whatever you do, please don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re only human. Sometimes we get pushed to the brink. I’d like to say that I wouldn’t have done what you did but I can’t say that with any certainty. When our daughter abused our trust and lied to us, I think back and am glad in a way that I didn’t find all this out until well after the fact. What makes me glad that I found out after the fact, is that I can’t say with any certainty that I wouldn’t have given her a whupping at the time. That’s how ...
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I’m so sorry that you and your children are going through this nightmare. I wish that I could offer you a magic wand that will make everything right again. Since I can’t do that, I will pass along a link that I hope will be helpful: http://www.stopfamilyviolence.org/info/custody-abuse/case-prep/custody-cases-protecting-children-from-child-abuse Don’t give up trying to do everything you can to help your children. I’m sure that you know this already, but document everything that is relevant to this case. If you have to take out a loan to hire a truly top notch lawyer, then it ...
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Fledgling --- What a lovely post!   [End]
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21380: I just noticed your post and like alikat, I, too, noticed that you had written previously about your work situation. Are you still in the same place after all this time or is this another work situation? If you are in the same place, have you attempted to find another job? I’m well aware how difficult it is to find work in the present time. However, 3 years ago the job market was in better shape. If you are in a different work situation, then I respectfully recommend that you look within yourself to see if there is something about the way to interact with others. That s ...
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SoulfulSurvivor --- You so eloquently explained how things are currently going for you. Reading through your post, it is plain to see that you are on the right track. Keeping a journal is an excellent idea. That way when you meet with his therapist, you will have a written record of your thoughts and feelings. Much as we say to ourselves, ”I will remember all this when it’s time to discuss the matter”, we often realize that we forgot a crucial topic that we wanted to discuss. Whatever you end up deciding to do, please know that you continue to be in my thoughts. Sending more hu ...
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Clearly, you have been through so much. It is normal for to have conflicting feelings over this. I suggest that you take a look at this website: http://www.rainn.org/ RAINN has a hotline 1-800-656-HOPE. Give them a call. The person on the other end of the line can give you some good advice plus help you find a local counselor. Your father should not be allowed to get away with what he did to you. Nor should your mother have to pay any alimony to him. She needs to know what he did to you. The person you talk to on the RAINN hotline will be able to advise you as to how to bro ...
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SoulfulSurvivor---I am so very sorry that you have been put through this. You certainly did nothing to warrant this happening to you. What you are feeling right now is normal. I believe that giving someone our trust is one of the greatest gifts that we can give --- especially if the one given our trust is a loved one. We’re laying ourselves bare by giving our trust because it comes with our hearts and our souls. In turn, we expect them to not only give us their trust but also to never do anything to betray the trust that was given to them. When we give trust to friends or co-work ...
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You’re welcome. -------------------------------- I get a bit freaked out around people who intensely ”accuse first, ask questions later”, and once upon a time had many family members with that style. ----- Oh, yes! I can relate to that --- my mother was that way. Yes, you could try to follow through with a forgiving attitude. However, may I suggest another option? From what you wrote, she has a pattern of responding the same way in similar situations. You point out---and rightfully so---that you no longer want to get sucked into her dramas, especially when you explained tha ...
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Is it fair to say I just no longer want to be a part of destructive communication, and just move on? ---------------- Yes, it is fair. Why put yourself through all that? ---------------- I think your analysis of the situation ” I suppose in hindsight she was looking for “oh my dear let me hug and make you feel better” type of thing, but I just felt stung by her accusations.” is spot on. Yet without knowing just what it was that she wanted to discuss, it seems her reaction was very inappropriate --- even if the topic was something very dire. Also, I’m guessing that the topic ...
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Excellent posts! When I was ”diagnosed” with Type 2, my doctor didn’t try to put me on meds right away. I know how I developed blood sugar issues. Over 20 years ago, I had my gallbladder removed. Before the removal, I had IBS-D. It worsened after the removal. IBS-D truly affects quality of life. There were so many foods that I couldn’t eat because they brought on diarrhea. I couldn’t exercise for long without having to stop and go to the bathroom. As a result, even though I aimed for healthy eating, I couldn’t really get there. Add all that up plus the fact that we don’t live ...
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You’re welcome, SS. With my background (NPD mother who was an alcoholic as well as verbally and emotionally abusive and father who was the perfect enabler), I have to watch myself when I come across someone who goes overboard with the flattering comments, as I know that I’m susceptible to falling for it. I admit that there have been times when my gut is screaming at me to not fall for it, it’s still hard not to be taken in. Then when I do listen to my gut there is this little voice telling me not to be cold or mean to the flatterer. I guess that was all part of my conditioning while gr ...
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Excellent post, SoulfulSurvivor --- filled with great advice. I take to heart what you wrote about boundaries and not giving out too much info too soon about myself. I’ve learned to proceed cautiously --- be friendly but hold back until I get to really know someone. I’ve come across too many users who take but when it’s time to give back, they’re full of excuses.   [End]
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First of all, good for you for getting rid of your ex! If he was isolating you, then he was abusive. As for making and keeping friends, I’m convinced that this was easier to do in previous generations. There are various reasons for this. I’ll use my parents’ generation as an example (they are part of ”the greatest generation”---the generation that came of age and fought in WWII). Back then, people were less transient. Kids were born and raised in the same neighborhood. Often, when they grew up and were out on their own, they would stay in the same neighborhood---as would their cla ...
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I agree---Don’t take it personally. TBH, I don’t look at blog entries here---I just stick to the forums.   [End]
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What is your gut telling you? I do find it strange that the girl is doing that to her guinea pig. Did your daughter tell you how to find the website where the girl claims to have seen this bizarre behavior? Without knowing more, this could well be a situation where the girl got some erroneous behavior regarding how pregnancy occurs. Yet...I keep going back to that website... Next time you talk to the girl, I would ask her to show you this website. If what you see is something disturbing, you should then ask her how she knew about this site. If after talking to her, you think ...
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Wow! I’m sitting here reading this and shaking my head at the same time. You know he is bad news yet you keep going back to him and putting up with all that BS. WHY? What’s going on with you? I’ll take a guess --- you think that if you totally cut him out of your life you’ll never find another man. Am I right? If so, then please listen up--- I know what it’s like to have low self-confidence and low self-esteem --- been there, done that when I was young. I felt that I had to put up with being treated badly just to have a man in my life. However, I had my limits. After being h ...
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You’re welcome. But...have you gotten some counseling? If not, please call the RAINN Hotline that I mentioned in my response to you. Also, take a look at the links provided by SoulfulSurvivor. You say that you can ”ignore it” now but at some point you will have to deal with what happened.   [End]
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I’m sorry that you had this horrible experience. That said, I don’t understand the title of your post, ”Define ’Rape’” when it was very clear from reading your story that you were raped. I hope that you reported it to the police. I also hope that you got some counseling. I recommend that you call the RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, if you haven’t gotten any counseling. Best wishes to you as you heal.   [End]
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I don’t know what the whole recovery program involves for codependents but I do know this---His behavior towards you is very rude and inconsiderate. Since he told you that he would have to bail if things got complicated, then at the very least, he owed you an explanation. That said, I suspect that part of his problem was that he got involved in this relationship much too soon. The tip off was his telling you that he was ”recovering”. However, once he realized this, he should have explained it to you. At this point, I would say drop all contact with him. If, before doing so, you ...
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I was looking around for a good definition of ”empathy” since, although I know what empathy is, I admit I would have had trouble articulating it in writing. On Wikipedia, I came across this sentence which, to me, says it all: Empathy is the key cornerstone in genuine human relationships. Empathy is conscious. It means one with empathy feels compassion, while those without do not take into account other people’s emotions I certainly don’t think that being empathetic makes one co-dependent. I’m curious as to why you think it does...?   [End]
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I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. The dream, to me anyway, seems to have some significance. Your sister is trying to get a message to you. Is your mother-in-law intuitive (psychic) at all? If so, that’s probably why your sister came to her. IMO, you should think about what significance an apple has to you. Or what significance it had for your sister. If nothing pops into your mind right away, try thinking back to when you were kids. I found this link that gives some possible interpretations. Scroll down until you come to ”apple”. http://www.peacefulmind.com ...
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I kept hesitating to leave my husband because I am afraid of the unknown for me and my child.. ---------------- Well...despite your hesitation, you still engaged in an affair. Why do this when you’ve admitted that you hesitate to end the marriage? Whatever your reason is for staying in the marriage, you have an obligation to remain faithful. Your husband has that same obligation, too. When things took a real nosedive in your marriage, that was the time to speak up to your husband and insist on joint counseling. If he chose not to go, then you should go on your own. Instead of ...
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What you’re saying is that this woman should uproot her life and her child’s life to chase after this man. The same man who ended the affair because she was married. Perhaps he came to his senses and realized that he doesn’t want to be strung along waiting for her. Also, if he was quick to get into a relationship with a married woman, well, history has a way of repeating itself. Somewhere down the road, if they do marry, he could well end up deciding to have yet another affair. As for her---she was quick to have an affair instead of dealing with what’s wrong with her marriage. ...
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It seems to me that you want to have your cake and eat it, too. You say that you and your husband are emotionally disconnected. Also, you say that you ”suspect” that he has been unfaithful. So what did you do in this situation? Did you talk to your husband about any of this? Did you attempt to find out if he is indeed unfaithful? Instead, you had an affair. Sorry, but I can’t condone what you did. If you choose to stay in your marriage for whatever reason (you say it’s because of your child), then you (as well as he) are expected to be faithful to one another. Unless, ...
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It’s always a good idea to cross post. I would recommending cross posting in the ”Relationship” and ”Abuse” forums.   [End]
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Sigh...I went back and read your previous posts about her. Back then, it seemed clear that she didn’t want you to contact her and you wanted to win her back. Now reading your current posts, I have a question---Why oh why did you want her back? You say that you’re snooping on her phone and her FB page. I assume that she gave you her FB password or is it that she has her privacy settings on low? If it is the latter, then it is out there for everyone to see. If it is the former, then you’re right---you shouldn’t be snooping. Yet...you say you’re snooping to ”protect” yourself. Y ...
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I’m sorry that I didn’t notice this earlier. I hope that you come back to this thread and read my post. First of all, don’t assume that most people have friends from childhood that carried over into adulthood. I can honestly say that the only friend from my younger days that I still hear from is one of my college roommates. I think that the older generations seemed to be better at keeping life long friends. For example, my parents came from the so-called ”greatest generation” and both had life long friends. What is surprising about my parents is that my mother was a narcissist and ...
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SoulfulSurvivor’s advice to you is spot on. However, in case it needs reinforcing, I’ll put in my two cents. This guy is a BS artist. He has proven that to you time and time again. Deep down you know it, too. That’s why you are considering going as far as installing a camera at home. Please note --- If you mistrust someone that much, then it’s time to get out of the relationship. Giving someone like him ”more sex” won’t matter. He’ll still go out and cheat on you. Another thing to consider---if you are having unprotected sex with him, you are putting your health at risk. So ...
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Tomorrow, first thing in the morning, you do the following: Get dressed---put on a comfortable but modest dress, a comfortable pair of sandals (not flip-flops), make sure you look presentable. Have something to eat, then hit the road running. If you don’t have access to a car, take the bus. Stop at every shopping center, supermarket, Circle K, 7-11, restaurant and every big box store and ask for a job application. Be sure you ask with a smile. When you’re depressed, smiling doesn’t come easy but you must do it. Don’t try to be perky---if perky doesn’t come naturally to you, the ...
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My goodness! I’m sorry for what you went through. However, you do have options. First of all, call the RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE. Please do so without delay. The person on the other end of the line can---and will---work with you to get the help you need. Tell them everything you wrote here. While you talk to the person at the hotline, do ask how you can go about pressing charges. Please don’t let this man get away with what he did to you. If he did it to you, no doubt he either did it to someone else or will do so in the future. Lo ...
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You have to realize something about doctors --- there are good ones and there are bad ones. Some doctors just don’t listen or they gloss over problems and concerns. Sad to say, you may have to take time to find the right doctor. In the meantime, you need to pick yourself up and get out of your current living situation. Have you found a job yet? If not, you really have to get out there and pound the pavement. Once you have a job, be sure to put as much money aside as possible. The more you put aside, the sooner you can change your living situation. Sometimes depression can be si ...
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