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can partnership = love and work? by #622 ..... Relationship Support Forum

Date:   9/10/2004 4:35:27 PM ( 18 years ago ago)
Hits:   788

i've been with a man for almost a yr now, we get along quite well and live together. our love, sex and time together are very pleasant but there is one huge issue that keep driving us apart.


here is the scenario:

i am currently unemployed in my field of work and doing little jobs here and there. i have the time, skills and the motivation. on the other hand my partner is struggling to keep up with all his work. sometimes he's asked me to help out and payed me for it. not much, but it doesn't matter to me, we have a really good time working together and we get a lot done.

lately we talked about bring our relationship (partnership) to another level and actually have a goal to work towards, like $ for travel, for example.

i am ready to help out, yet he has not asked me to and every time i offere or marely suggest helping i get ignored. when i get mad he says it's because he can't afford me, or afford to pay me.

i told him that if he can't pay me he doesn't have to. the payment is a token of professionalism more then anything else. we share almost everything anyways. and i am the kind of person who will work towards a common goal for free, to free up our time and make things happen faster...rather then one person slaving away and constantly being tired.

he seemed to understand what i said, yet the next day it was back to the same ol.

now i am tired of being ignored, tired of feeling cheap cause i keep offering and get ignored. i'm tired of suggesting and asking. something so simple is getting to the point of tension that i wanna break up. it's making me feel clingy yet one of my ways of showing love is contributing and helping so why is that not accepted?

having to speculate sucks but i am beginning to feel like he doesn't want my help, wants to keep me in my plance (where he's the man and provider)or there is something going on behind my back. he told me on more then one occasion that it's his pride and upbringing that stops him from asking me, but yet when he's done it in the past he even beamed about how well we work together and was more then happy about it.

so i'm confused now.

i don't feel like i have a partner. he works long hrs and constantly. i'm not the kind to beg or cling yet at the same time it's my right to feel like i am working towards the same goal as the person i've committed myself to. i have the right to be a part of a partnership that works towards a common goal together. am i wrong about this?

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