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Re: Boyfriend ends up with a baby.. a little lost.. needing help. by happy_girl ..... Relationship Support Forum

Date:   7/1/2004 2:00:39 PM ( 18 years ago ago)
Hits:   628

You're welcome, I hope I helped a little.

It sounds like you want to move forward, but you can't unless you can trust him. He lied about the weed thing, and therefore you MUST be wondering what else he has or will lie about. My ex and I had a similar agreement, that he lied about, and then didn't get a job that he really wanted because he coudn't pass the drug test. Belive me, I know what you are feeling. My ex wasn't being responsible, and not someone I could depend on...we aren't together anymore for this and other reasons. I needed someone I could trust, even though I still loved him when I left.

When you try to ask him about something he has done, he comes back with "what about what you did": the defensive posture. That says he has a guilty conscience, or he doesn't like answering to you, that's why he is bringing up the past. You need to ask him about past things that are bothering you, don't accuse, but just let him know that you don't feel right. If he resists being accountable to you and your relationship, there is a problem. He is probably lying...think about it. If he loved you, he wouldn't wait one second before he did whatever he could do to make sure you are secure in his love for you. That's what love does. Wouldn't you do that for him?

Don't you deserve for yourself, at least what you are willing to give?

Let me know how things go...I will keep you in my prayers.

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