Re: @Autumn - Thanks! by Autumn ..... Sex & Sexual Health Forum
Date: 5/4/2005 2:14:19 PM ( 16 years ago ago)
Oh good, you're still out there. I was hoping yesterday that I was sensitive enough to your side. Actually I am hoping that today too.
Also was pondering a little something here. If a woman does things because she is really trying to be accommodating to her partner, if at some corner of her mind she isn't ready, there is a chance that afterwards she will have some regrets about it and might pull away. Or might go along for a while and then draw the line where it isn't expected, which can appear inconsistent and end up confusing everybody.
So that was the main reason I am all for giving people space and time so they can sort out their ideas. Otherwise they might have regrets and kind of shut down in some other area of the relationship, and it would be nice if you didn't have to feel shut out or remorseful about that. Whereas people who really do settle in to a sexual relationship deserve to agree that "OH WOW was THAT ever the right step to take!!!"
Actually it is kinda peachy for a fella to be welcoming feedback and thinking things over, instead of just being grumpy about the situation. (Not that you don't have a right to include "grumpiness" in your coping repertoire.) I bet too that when you are lost you roll down the car window and say "Hey Mac, how do I get back to Interstate 10?" Saves a lot of time in life.
Hoping some of that makes sense.
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