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Re: Not neccessarily... by #3402 ..... Sex & Sexual Health Forum

Date:   4/16/2004 9:08:21 AM ( 19 years ago ago)
Hits:   1,148

"Guys who jump on Buffy and dating sites are giving you a hint. A strong hint that they are looking." mtndeww says...

That is not neccessairly true at all. My husband had a habit of from when he was a teenager, his brother started him out on it. He is a sex addict practicily, and I keep up with him real well. But I told him don't you even get turned on by that crap and then coming looking to me to satisfy you. I've talked with other wives and their husbands were into internet p 0 r n too, it is a problem--one disliked by us, but does not all mean they intend to cheat. I cannot tell you for sure in your case, but I can tell you that it does not always mean. My husband has always been true to me, he is the nervous high strung type--if he was to cheat he'd tell me that day! But there for awhile p 0 r n was his thing until it slowly convicted his heart. I also talked with him about it, how it hurt my feelings for him to be looking at these fabulous models and drooling over them when I was not a model by any stretch of the imagination (not fat, just homely) made me feel like he was satisfied with me and wouldn't want me after looking at these girls.
Him doing it every night would be very worrisome for me, and the dating sites would be even more so. I'm not saying he isn't looking, he could be, but then again he could not be. I'm just saying mtnndeww is NOT always right so don't take his word for it. I wouldn't be so quick to split the sheets. Talk a little more in depth with your boyfriend about how it makes you feel, how you feel that it makes you think he might be looking elsewhere--in the best way possible to broach that. Then go from there...just a little heart to heart can solve a lot of things. If he knows that it is hurting you emotionally he may volunteer to stop immediately just because he did not know. Men are not mind readers, we have to tell them how we feel. If he just shakes it off like nothing or gets overly defensive (if you've put it to him in a nice way) then you probably have real reason for concern...I don't know what else to tell you, but I feel for you!

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