CureZone   Log On   Join

UPDATE about my HYPOCHONDRIA/ NOV 2ND, 2015 by #104439 ..... Anxiety and Panic Disorder

Date:   11/2/2015 1:52:33 AM ( 6 years ago ago)
Hits:   2,851

Update to the link "//".

I apologize for not telling this information to anybody. Long story.
I regret this VERY MUCH! I have been going through this neck (swollen, numb) pain/numbness ever since Friday, of Jan 7, 2005 around 5:11 P.M Eastern Time. That's going on FIVE years almost. I should be locked up and behind bars for telling this story & not letting anyone know about this. So, I have been keeping this a secret that involves my life or my death. I should have wrote this report of this dirty health secret of myself the day after this mess happened. But, deep down inside, I was scared, guilty, nervous, crying, angry, & depressed, that all these emotions prevented me from
going to the doctor about this, or telling anyone about this detailed story,
or writing this self-report of a possible disease and faking (feigning) happiness &
joy when I am around other people I worked, played, spend time with. I could not TRUST anyone.
The sad thing about it is I have never ever told anyone about this except my former
High School Nurse (just told her about "something there in my neck and that was all"). She just told me to eat fruits and vegetables.
But, honestly, I couldn't hardly afford to eat any fruits and vegetables and even to this day I'm breaking slowly out of those conventional, deadly food trends and I am trying to go organic very slowly.
Normally, if this was a serious matter, it would probably be spread sexually unprotected sex wise, go through openings, like eyes, nose, mouth, ears, or broken skin, or passed through dirty needles (sharp objects). But, this was not my case and has not happened to me. The reason for this (of me keeping this matter to myself)
is because I don't want to be discriminated on, I want to protect my privacy of my health,
not deal & face any kind of stigma whatsoever, not become isolated from society & perhaps my own classmates, aquaitnances, authority & family. Every time I accidentally hurt myself, I do the best that I can to conceal the scar or mark using alcohol or antiseptic. And I try to not to touch people's body parts.

This all first started when I was in the Bank of America on Little Creek Road Norfolk, VA (Jan 7th, 2005). When I was waiting for
my relative to finish her banking business, I accidentally bumped
into the desk that is in front of the main entrance way in the bank.
My index finger collided with this reddish, thick, particle substance and I
realized that I picked up someone's blood. I was pondering
and Nervous, scared for the whole 2-5 minutes thinking that I could catch
something like a bacterial or a viral infection the next day, or two, or three & I was in this kind of MY DEATH SENTENCE.
And today, this minute, I am scared that I might possibly die from this mysterious neck pain,
I keep thinking that I will never meet girls, travel around the world, serve in the military, pursue a career in computers, or music
or anything in that nature.

Then the next minute, I put saliva on my finger to see what effect it would have on the
blood I picked up. (I heard that saliva is susposed to contain a special enzyme that is susposed to kill the radicals, bacteria, viruses, etc. on tact of the skin.)
The index finger that caught the blood sample, the pores were closed,
nor the skin was not broken. (Maybe I figured out that blacks are more prone to catch microorganisms more than any race in the world because of our thick skin). While I was in the car, I wrapped the possible contaminated finger with an antibacterial wipe, so no particles would go anywhere. The next 2-3 minutes, I was driven
home and I got out of the car quickly & I stormed into the bathroom ignoring everybody that was in my path. I was in there and I turned on the bathroom faucet, full force for the hot running water to come out,
so I kept my finger under there for around 4-5 minutes, hoping that the hot water would destroy possible contaminants from the blood.
By the time I was finished, I sprayed a little disinfectant on the finger and went back to normal. I did not feel any neck (numbness) pain the next day, nor the next day after that. However, Monday morning I thought
that I just had a neck cramp. Then the next day it went on & on & on to this present day. And that is when I knew that I was in HELL!
I don't know what to do. I have no one to turn to! Once again, I am ALL OF THE ABOVE: Scared, Shocked, Nervous, Guilty, in Fear, Depression, Angry and SICK (I guess)!
During that time, I didn't hardly have any health insurance. I even feared that if I made an immediate trip to the doctor, or hospital, they would check on it & if I tested positive
for their diagnosis, they would put me on MEDICATION that could DO HARM than GOOD and possibly kill me! Which would also lead me to a possible debt of medical bills! There's got to be a way to cure this never ending condition.
I thought about doing it naturally (God- given way). This problem happens to me like 95- 98 percent of the time. Once in a while, the neck numbness stops.
What am I going to do, world? Can I cure, or treat this naturally instead of killing myself? My neck just can't seem to rest! It's going on 4 years now ever since I had it, I'm afraid to say
anything because if I do, I'll face SEVERE consequences. I haven't really never went to a health store. Thank you.

Mike M.

P.S. All I want to do is to get to the bottom of this, so I can move on with my life! Please someone help me! I'm not no bad guy, Lord, and I never want to be one. I just want to move on with my life.
and that's all. I made mistakes in my life, but please forgive me, so Ill move on from here. Around May 2008, I got tested for Hepatits B and C. I never had sex in all my 23 years on this Earth or used any contanimated needles. The lab results turned out to be normal, however, the neck pain (numbness) still remains virtually every day (90-95 percent of the time nearly these five years). It occurs at the deep, right side of the neck near the spinal area. Maybe it could be a damaged nerve caused
by some friggin' microorganism. I should have saw a doctor about this matter long time ago. What held me back were various things, once again ( worrying about life & death over medicine, & possibility of being falsely diagnosed, the stigma I would face for the rest of my life from own family, friends, occupation (work & school environment), the possible death sentence I would have to endure. Peace & love.
Recently, since August 2009, I finally found a lead in my research on this unknown condition that I have gone through. One of the leads I found is called a condition called Transverse Myelitis & Multiple sclerosis. Once again, I am not a doctor, I am not diagnosing myself, but I am suggesting that this could lead to this medical condition. Plus, I done some research stating that HHV-6A is the virus that could be behind all of this!! Going on with my constant neck numb, painful & tingling sensation, screwing around with the myelin located in the neck region. Anyway, soon I will talk to the doctor about this & I doubt that it could be HIV behind this (due to Luc Montaglier) saying that HIV can be cleared naturally. Just don't want to be another statistic, that's all! No more of this! updated 5-2-2010

UPDATE November 2nd, 2015

Well People, I FINALLY, FINALLY, got that Hypochondria 2005 story off of my chest, when I went to the doctor's last night, and got treated for a toe nail injury. Right just before I left, I talked to the nurse, that first ran my initial test and told her of what I was going through. And she said it, "You're a healthy and good young man". But, I'm still going to be on my guard though, because of the influence of Big Pharma, the Medical Corporations and their singling out of us people, at the bottom of the cycle and society's ladder. P.S. I told her that that's why we have a strong, powerful immune system and she agreed with me. Peace.


UPDATE PART 3 November 2nd, 2015

UPDATE TO MY STORY FROM MY TRIP TO THE DOCTORS. However, sometimes, I still go through those psychological, mental fearful, guilty, hypochondriac, Depression stressed-out outbreaks & spells, thinking that I might be sick. But, again, I NEED to tell myself that it is ALL in the mind. Thankfully, I don't go through that intense, anxiety-based stiffness & numbness in my neck & shoulders, anymore, EVER SINCE I started EDUCATING myself about the other side of this MONEY-MAKING EVIL MASS MURDERING COMPLEX.But, So, I'm trying my best to take it, one day at a time. I remember one time, back in Summer of 2007, I was playing basketball, and I got finished playing. I didn't realize that I hurt my leg, my leg had a scrape on it. I was sitting down on the ground. One of the basketball players, standing right in front of me, I guess his leg was on top of my leg, the one that had a scrape on it, with a little blood on it. I guess he wasn't aware that his leg was on top of my leg that had a scrape on it. But, I wasn't sure if his leg touched my blood. I didn't say anything, because I did not want to scare him. I just kept my mouth shut, while he was talking to his friend. But, a few months later, I gave one of his friends a secret letter to send to him, about taking care of the body & mind & going to, in order for me to try to relieve some of that mental stress, I've been going through. Even some weeks later, when he said hello to me, when I was working, I was afraid to say hello back to him. I just gave him a weak, nodding gesture & kept on working. NOTE: Him and his family is still alive and well, as of today, 2015 & beyond. Once in a while, I go through a guilty, germophobe mindset thinking, that I might have made him sick or something and I worry too much of me making someone ill. I wonder if I should say anything to him.... I know it's all in the MIND. I never had sex, or used unclean needles. Then, in May of 2008, I went to a clinic, to get my blood drawn out, for it to test for Hepatitis B & C & other blood work. My doctor, told me, that everything was good, I didn't have no antibodies to Hepatitis B and C. (I wonder if those Antibody test for Hepatitis B & C have the same criteria for the "HIV-Antibody test"??) But, I realize of what Luc Montagnier said, in that "House of Numbers", video that "we can be exposed to , numerous amount of times, without being chronically infected." and that "we can cure it within a matter of weeks, if we have a good immune system". I know that Margaret Heckler, said "The PROBABLE Cause of AIDS has been found". Along with's court case accomplishments & whistle-blowing. I know of Janine Roberts, "Fear of the Invisible", which blew the fraud off the lid from the get go. Also, of Doctor Willner. But, my mind still feels as if, it is shut down from thinking positive thoughts and bliss. I also realize of the HIV test, that they DO NOT test for "HIV" at all, but they test for 70-100 conditions, NOT at all matching with "HIV", which is criminal in itself. I wonder, what got into Dr. Gallo's mind for him, to create this scandalous, monster, along with the other orchestrators like Fauci, even the press & the media, the juggernaut media organizations, etc. Aren't antibodies suppose to protect your body from foreign invaders and not be an indicator that your sick? Also, I need to educate myself MORE, on that Wikileaks cable, that was LEAKED, which states that "HIV" cannot be spread through casual contact and that it was taken off the list from communicable to non-communicable illnesses. I'll even give Damian Laster's book a shot also. I will also, buy, Dr. Peter Duesberg, book called, "Inventing the AIDS Virus". Maybe that will open my mind. Recently, I bought from Pure, some "Metallicum Aurum", I haven't tried it yet and it's been 2 weeks. Again, I never had sex at all, or used unclean needles or sharp objects, out of my 29 years living on this earth. If all the solutions above, do not work, then I will see a psychiatrist or something. This worrying nightmare has prevented me from dating or meeting any woman, joining the military or service, pursuing a career in entertainment, thinking positive thoughts consistently, but MOST importantly having CONFIDENCE and LOVE within MYSELF. I do realize the TRUTH, but BETTER YET, the WHOLE END to this EVIL, STIGMATIC, SADISTIC CONFUSION, but I still feel suppressed. I wonder now, what should I do, to get rid of these trapped emotions?? Hopefully, I won't conspire my own self, in messing myself up....

<< Return to the standard message view

fetched in 0.13 sec, referred by