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I have been there too and my marble theory by ame ..... Depression Forum

Date:   2/28/2003 5:45:07 PM ( 18 years ago ago)
Hits:   2,658

I have looked over my life and the times that I was the physically sickest, was the times that my Depression was the worse. It is unfortunate that sickness causes stress and the added stress causes the body to get weaker still, causing more stress, and the sickeness itself causes the body to weaken also. I am trying now to build my body back up from the events of the last 3 years, 4 car accidents, a concussion, a kidnapping, moving stress, my mom dying,taking way too many antidepressants, taking suppliments, etc. I have tried so many things including:

Orthopedic doctors when I was little, MD's, stomach doctor, Arthritis doctor, chiropractors, foot Orthotics, neck traction, psychiatrists, homeopathics, nutrition doctor, Hydrogen peroxide therapy, acupuncture, prescription drugs, counciling, supplements, irridology (more for diagnosing problems by looking at the eyes), herbs, getting mercury fillings out, cavitation surgery (the dentist dug out the dead and diseased bone that never healed form wisdom teeth extraction, that was fun!) thought field therapy, color therapy, trigger point, massage, TMJ spilt, ion generator, physical therapy, liver, colon, parasite and kidney cleansing, chi machine, barley water, colonics and rolfing.

Of those, I only found rolfing and the barley water to be of much help. it has taken me 20 years to learn no doctor or therapy can get me well. I can only do it myself. I don't mean mind over matter here. I don't really have much faith in talking to councilors til I turn blue either.

Anyway, I just came up with a theory why some are sick and others are not. Why some can eat anything they want and others like me have to scrutinize everything they pop in their mouths. I call it the marble theory. It is mine so feel free to disagree with it.

The marble theory

1. Each of us is born with so many marbles. Lets say 1000 marbles. Marbles are like the body's reserves or life energy. Some people are born with less than 1000 marbles because of the life energy of both parents. If your parents were ill or on drugs or ate a bad diet such as processed food or the mom was ill or too old or ate poorly while pregnant, you lost some marbles right off the top. There is proof of this though the "pottenger cat study". Also through speaking to many people, it seems that the later born children are sicker that their older siblings. This is because, the mom's energy level was not built back up between children yet if the children were closely spaced, and/or the mom was older thus more likely to have health problems and less life energy to share with the baby. This is true in my family. I am the sickest, and the last born with only 1 year between each child. the spacing should be at least 3-4 years. My sister is sick but not as sick as me and my brother is strong with fw health issues and the oldest.

2. Our marbles are depleted through our life choices and things that happen beyond our control such as accidents and stressful events. Also each day of life depletes marbles just because.

I came up with a list of items that take away marbles from the big bowl of life. You get low on marbles you get sick, too low and you get really sick and there is a level of marbles where there in not enough energy to sustain life and you die.

Your emotions are also deaply connected to the amount of life energy you have. To be happy and calm, etc it take a lot of good nutrients and energy (marbles). You might be able to pretend to be calm or happy or whatever, but if you are sick, your underlying mood is beyond your control. You can control your behavior not your emotions that are connected to the health of various organs.
According to chinese thought, fear is related to the kidneys and anger and Depression to the liver and so on.

Things that take away marble from your reserves:
(some take away huge numbers of marbles others very few)

cuts and bruises
all infections and diseases
all burn and all sunburns
minor stress
major stress and or too much worry
toxins including: pesticides, smoking, drinking, most cleaners
and personal care products from the grocery store (petro
chemical based), anything you are allergic to, gas fumes,
perfume, all chemicals, microwaves, plastics,
synthetic fibers, mercury fillings and root canals, fluoride,
chlorine, bla bla, bla...

(for more info)

poor quality food: sugar, white flour, all processed food (most
anything in a bag, box, jar or can), poor quality fats and oils,
table salt , pasteurized milk products, bla bla bla,

insufficient food
bad or insufficient water
lack of or too much exercise
lack fresh or no air to breath
lack of love
lack of or too much sleep
lack of relaxation
lack of fun
insect or spider bites
dental work
lack of sunshine
each day of life
having a baby
car accidents
sprains and breaks
loss of blood or other fluids
major illness
Frost bite or hypothermia
heat exhaustion
street drugs
over the counter or prescription drugs
eye glasses (will not let healing power of the sun into your eyes)
being under or over weight

3. don't worry, the following items add marbles back. Although it seems that marbles are easier to loss than to get back and much harder to get back the less you have at the time.

Things that add marbles back to our reserves:

Good quality food and water
fresh air
being other centered
stimulating the senses
following your dreams
staying busy but not overworking

4. Some get sick from breathing in a chemical such as a candle's petro chemical scent, and others can tolerate it. It is toxic to both people, but the one who did not get sick had more marbles, so having a few less did not affect him cause he was not at that marble level to allow sickness. If the sicker person had say 500 marbles and you get sick at 499 and the chemical took 3 marbles you get sick, a cold or whatever. If the sick person, does a few things from the "add marble" list and avoids the stuff from "loose marbles" list, he gets better after he gains back enough marbles to get to 500 again. This person is so close to the 499 level that he or she is just a few marbles away from getting sick so is always getting sick, and if not careful can get sicker and sicker if he does more stuff from "loose a marble" list than from "add a marble" list. The fewer and fewer marbles the person has, the sicker they get and the harder it is to gain them back cause the the fewer marbles you have, the less energy you have to live much less use to regain health. But, it is possible, if patient and careful. The less marbles you have, the more time it takes to climb back up to the not sick level. So, that is why it might take a week to feel yourself again after getting over a cold and 1 year to get over a car accident. Add bad thing on top of bad thing, and it is cumulative, so 10 colds in a row and you feel horrible for much longer. So, if you get into 4 car accidents in 2 years as I did and it takes years to get well. Maybe this is why I have chemical sensitivities and food allergies and am tire all the time and grumpy. Add a concussion to that and I have a long climb. This does not even count stress, such as the kidnapping, the court case from the kidnapping, my mom dying, and my husband loosing his job. Each prescription medication is taking away marbles from the pile too. I feel better on the two meds I am taking than when I was on 3. I am tapering off one of the two and almost off, so feeling even better. Most supplements are also toxic. They have toxic fillers and binders and bad oils used to keep the machines running but are bad for human health. .

my husband can eat what ever he wants, go to bed late and drink and smoke and since he has more marbles he is ok or if he does get sick from his bad habits, he gets better quickly, although not as quick as 10 years ago.

If, I eat something that I am allergic to, I feel so horrible and if I go into a toxic store, I tired for days. So, I have to go build up my marble reserve. I am going to eat some nutritious homemade soup and try to get some sun, but not much as it is cold out.

I hope in some small way my thoughts help you. I hope in time you can build up your marbles. I have read and read looking for the answer to my problems. severve food allergies , depression, hypogycemia, chemical allergies, pain and scoliosis.

The book "healing with whole foods" tells you what to eat according to your body type and illness. If you are a cold type person, eat more warming foods. If you are thin and deficient you need to avoid bitter foods and fasting and any sort of cleansing including colonics (I got deficiency constipation from doing colonics), because you need to build up your body not loose more body tissue. You are aiming for balence in life. not to have a dry or damp body, not to be over or underweight, and not to be cold or hot. to get enough sleep but not too much, to exercise enough but not to the point of exhaustion.

The book is wonderfull and hard to describe. It has literally saved my life. I did not have a clue how to get better. I ran from doctor to doctor, and got my back popped weekly or more, to stay out of pain, but anything I did was mearly a bandaid or made it worse. I needed to get to the root of the problem. I know know the doctors would have never found out what the problems was. This book describes how we get sick and how to get well. It is hard to read at first since americans are not used to thinking in those terms. We are used to having someone else plan our road to recovery. Go to the doctor and here take this pill and for a while. It helps, but the cause remains and you get sick again. I thought liver and colon cleansing would help me but they made me sicker. The book made it easier to understand that a thin person such as me need to eat foods to build and avoid cleansing and any purging type foods. Also, there is no one right answer for everyone. Each person has to find through the help of books such as these, their own way to health.

On a more personal note:

I had so many marbles removed from my pile a few years ago I had to stay in the hospital because I was so depressed and prayed each night that God would call me home. But now, after I am eating organic veggies and only pastured (not toxic feedlot kind) meat and chicken (can find a source near you at having stopped all cleanses and bitter, pungent, sour foods and eating only building and warming foods that do not create dampness, I am not happy, happy, joy, joy, but, I can see that day coming. I am in a lot less pain from the car accidents, I am sleeping better, I do not yell at everyone that walks by, I rarely have reflux anymore, my bowels movemnts are good, I have less nose bleeds, I don't have to get up to pee 3-4 times a night anymore, I do not talk so much anymore, I can breath easier, I no longer crave salt, I don't get bloated very often, tmj pain is almost entirely gone, my hair is coming back in, I don't get dizzy or confused anymore, I still get the occational pimple but I am not as pale as I was. My body is warmer now, I don't tire as easily and my family does not drive me nuts anymore. My tongue looks better and so do my eyes, both are good indicators of health. And I have gained back the weight I lost (20lbs) due to the liver/colon/kidney cleanse. I still am at the post accients weight. I would have to gain back 10 more poounds to br pre accident wieght.

I still have chemical sensitivities and food allergies , and a itchy scalp, some shoulder pain and other little pains, but I no longer want to die and no longer get all jealous of what others can eat that I might never be able to eat again, I am not depressed now, but not overjoyed either, but my mind is quieter, and more able to live inside my own skull. All in all the whole is a better place. As you can see I still have problems but I had a lot of marbles taken from me in a short amount of time without time to rebuild inbetween. I am also on 2 anti-depressant andone can never be completely healthly while ingesting sure un-natural substances. Prescription meds are made from motor oil (petro chemicals). They are damaging to the body and depleting. but never come off them cold turkey or you will get very sick, and don't change your diet all at once either or you will put your body into shock. I know cause that is how I ended up in the hospital. quitting a med cold turkey, bad idea. Sorry so long but healing take a long time, unfortunately sometimes longer than it took to get sick.

And on a final note, you are not worthless. You are a worthwile person that just happens to not feel too well right now.

I lost my marbles, but I am getting them back, I hope you too can get your marbles back up there!


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