Re: Choosing not to circumcise! by #25098 ..... Circumcision Discussion & Debate
Date: 12/24/2008 9:49:11 PM ( 12 years ago ago)
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I thank you on behalf of your son.
When our boy was 12, he asked why he was 'different' than other boys, so we told him, and offered the surgery now, if he wanted it.
Immediately, he said, "No, thanks."
I don't know how we'd have handled it, if he had said yes.
At the very least, we knew how much the question bothered him - not very much at that point.
As for family members, when he was born, I don't remember anyone objecting. If they had, I suppose we'd have just smiled.
Our son was adopted at age 10 days, and he already had a lump on one side of the top of his skull from a suction device used during his birth.
Over the years I began to realize why my brother had some of the problems he developed in babyhood, and later. I was less than two years old when he came home. I was still able to recognize the cry of hurt.
They didn't circumcize the next son, my baby brother, who was a tiny 'preemie' and who had already lost his twin. I guess circumcision would have been too much for him.
When the call came to ask if my own son, my adopted baby, should be circumcized, before we picked him up, it was a complete surprise. Our family doctor was handling the 'medical' side of the adoption, the 'bump' on his head, etc.
We had never considered any of these questions. We were young in our thinking.
Today, I realize how brave was our family doctor in asking, completely nonbiased, in case we should have strong opinions.
He reported that such 'bumps' were common in babies who 'took a rest' while still in the birth canal.
And, when I said 'no' to the circumcision, our doctor seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and become a bit excited at our common sense.
'No' came to me easily. If it wasn't broke, don't fix it.
Decades later, it is still one of the words/moments I am proudest of.
I have heard a mother, recently, speak of her decision to circumcize her sons, defensively. Not a word had been said against such a choice, but she must have carried those feelings for a long time.
I felt sorry for her, and I will never raise a discussion of circumcision with her in the future, out of respect for her.
I have felt deeply saddened, helpless, that the practice has been so widespread. But I don't feel that way anymore because I feel that all people who have lost parts still carry the memory of them somewhere deep within. I think that, inside, we are all whole, and that we can access those feelings, if we don't become stuck on the idea that they are gone 'forever'.
There is a reluctance to read this forum, I believe, and I can certainly understand that. I felt the same way when I first came to CureZone.
But the human body is wonderfully resiliant, beyond our knowing.
When Shirley McLaine studied French prostitutes in order to prepare for the movie part of Irma La Duce (Irma the Sweet), she was told that some prostitutes reserve the area between their shoulder blades for their own feelings of sexuality with their real lovers.
I found that amazing. The body is truly miraculous.
My best to everyone. May we all find our own way to happiness.
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