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In over my head in helping a victim. by sparque ..... Rape Survivors Support Forum

Date:   1/19/2008 1:58:39 AM ( 13 years ago ago)
Hits:   2,880

I'm a new counselor who has been working with at risk students and students going through various situations that trouble them (11-13 year olds). One of my kids, through the course of the year has become one of my favorites and she has made great progress. She has disclosed many things and we have been working through them. I have come to realize that I have identified with her, and her ups and downs, I take personally.
A few weeks ago, she was kidnapped, gang raped and held for 4 days. W/out going into detail, which sounds like a bad episode of SVU, she is slowing disclosing to me what happened. So beyond horrific, I am amazed she hasn't had a psychotic break or committed suicide.
In the hospital, the rape counselor somehow upset her, so she refuses counseling from someone more qualified. I am aware that I am not up to this task and want to get her to a resource more qualifed. My fear is that she will get stuck and relive the experience over and over, not progressing into health and strength if she remains with me. One thing I said that seemed to be of some comfort to her was from a previous session. During a talk about sex, virginity came up, and I said that virginity can never be taken, only given away. A girl can regret having sex, but if she did it willingly, then she gave her virginity away. But if through molestation, rape, etc., then the act may be sexual, but the spirit and soul remains.
The other therapists I deal with just tell me to be there for her, and keep suggesting more indepth treatment, but until then,to just be there for her since she trusts me. I'm afraid by my just being there, I may do more harm.
I am looking for some advise, hints, anything to help. If anyone can suggest techniques, books, something to help me be more effective in treating her, or ideas in how to get her to agree to more appropriate treatment, I would be most thankful.

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