I'm trying to understand the purpose of your confession because the last sentence is defensive and has a tone as though you feel there's nothing wrong (maybe because you have permission from your significant other) but you know it's wrong because you're posting here.
I am the daughter of an addict. I grew up with a mother who did illegal drugs (mostly pot) every now and then to 'relax', then more often, then it became pills, now crank. I'm 30 years old and have spent most of my young life and young adult life taking care of my mother and let me tell you, it doesn't relax either one of us.
Addiction is a symptom of a larger problem. You don't need to relax, you seek to escape. Address that issue.