I just CANNOT gain any weight!!!!

I really want to quit smoking and become a healthy person, as I recently made a decision to change my life and become healthy so I can attract good things into my life. I am a firm believer that you attract what you ARE; and my whole life has been a succession of unhealthy men, jobs, finances, not to mention moods ( Depression episodes, panic attacks, etc.) and I am 37 years old and SO ready to be done with it all and live the life I was meant to live.

So far I have made the decision to eat only healthy foods; organic, no refined stuff, gave up meat, poultry and dairy (growth hormone and Antibiotics ) no tap water, exercising every day, praying a LOT, and through all this I am ...ugh...still smoking, and it just makes me feel like a big hypocrite...I SAY I want to be healthy and yet I am so addicted to this nonsense...I am going to go buy some of those pure organic cigarettes today, people say they help you smoke less...

Anyway, I am trying to (finally) lose this awful 40 pounds that has plagued me and my self-esteem my entire life...lost them and gained them back at least 4 times, and finally realized 'diets' do not work...hence the change in what I am eating. SO, I WANT to quit smoking, but the thought of gaining any more weight when I am trying to lose it once and for all is horribly frightening!!

I am so miserable right now and am trying everything I can think of to change this so sometimes I think I might as well quit smoking now since I am a mess anyway in the realization that my whole life needs to change...maybe this is the best time? But again, the thought of gaining weight scares the life out of me...HELP!!!!!!!! Tweet