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Re: Need advice please

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Published: 14 years ago
This is a reply to # 965,752

Re: Need advice please

I don't know why it's so hard for us women to put our needs out there too, maybe it's the caretaker instinct but I know as far as it goes with me, I tend to gravitate toward the type of people that need taking care of, whether it's financially or emotionally, or just someone to feed their ego (which was the case with the last guy). I took one of those online "quizzes" the other day - whether or not I sabotage relationships and I answered the questions honestly. A lot of the questions had to do with "if your guy did this, what would you do" and mostly my responses were along the lines of letting him get away with it and not saying much unless it was VERY rude and discourteous. So I'm thinking I'm a good girlfriend because I don't force a guy to change to pressure him too much, I just try to be there for someone - and the quiz results were that I do sabotage relationships by being a doormat. If that's what somebody wants you for then the first time you assert yourself they're gone. Women have taken upon themselves much more responsibility in our society than the men do. We bear our children and often end up raising them alone fighting for child support and struggling to work and make ends meet. Men seem to be raised these days to be boys rather than men, narcissistic and self centered - only taking on the responsibilities they have to to pay the bills. I know there are lots of exceptions to that rule and I'm hoping to meet one someday, in the meantime I have to learn to be assertive about my own needs in a relationship and not be a doormat just to keep someone around.

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