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Re: Please help me... I'm desperate and suicidal
sanctuary2 Views: 14,693
Published: 14 years ago
This is a reply to # 950,867

Re: Please help me... I'm desperate and suicidal

I don't know about the cream, I'm no expert. But I can sure empathise. I have been unwell for just about as long as I can remember (over 20 years). I believe I have AF as well as hypothyroid and severe fluoride poisoning. No doctor believed me either. Even my current doctor wanted to put me back on anti-depressants only 2 weeks ago (even after I got abnormal thyroid test results).

I know what it feels like to want to end it all, the frustration, the anger, the sadness. I took an overdose once, in a church of all places. I lay on the alter of our empty church one Sunday afternoon and I told God that He either curse me or takes me HOME. He didn't do either and I ended up very sick for my trouble and back on anti-depressants.

Whatever you do, don't take anti-depressants. They won't help you, trust me on that one. I know it's tough when those around you don't understand what you are going through or don't even believe you and think it's all in your head. It's not. And it is going to be tough but you will have to take responsibility for your own healing. But you don't have to do it completely alone. There are so many wonderful people here at CZ. Please with WAY more knowledge than me, who can help you. I have only been here since Feb but I have learned so much already. I am not sure that I am physically any better yet, but I do have a lot of years worth of "crap" to get out of system and a great deal of damage to undo. It all takes time. But at CZ you have found a place to vent when you need to. To learn and to grow as a person, and to laugh whenever possible.

It will be a long journey, but you are so young and there is still so much ahead of you. Trust in yourself and your own ability to heal. Hold onto that. When I get really low I just lay in bed and focus on my image of Perfect Health. I say to myself over and over again, I am perfect health, I am strong, I am fit, I am healthy, I am Perfect Health. And one day I will be.

Please stay strong. You are not alone. It's wrong that you have to go through this. We live in a world where the system is so cruel and greedy and doctors for the most part are just imbeciles. There are good ND's out there, I don't know if you have any in your area. I live very remotely and my ND is half a country away and do the whole thing by phone. This means that progress is really really slow. But I have to learn to be patient and trust the process.

Post as often as you need to. Hang around CZ as much as you can. Read the stories of others who have walked your path and found healing, there is much inspiration to be had here. And hang in there. You are most definitely not alone. And I can't guarantee that it will help at all (or even how you feel about it), but if you give me a first name I would willing send you reiki energy as often as you need it.

I am here for you

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