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Please help me... I'm desperate and suicidal
 
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Published: 14 years ago
 

Please help me... I'm desperate and suicidal


I'm 20 years old now and I have extremely depleted adrenal glands. My mom & dad are extremely closed-minded and all they believe in is heart attacks, cancer, and AIDS. They don't have any clue about anything else besides those and they never believe me when I tell them my problems. I've been suffering now for 2 years, although it has improved alot since I've been treating it myself with herbs and a healthier lifestyle. All my friends have moved away and are now in their second year of college, and I'm still at home with no job or friends or life at all, and it just KILLS me, I'm gritting my teeth right now and crying... because I was always the happy, nice, loving, caring, optimistic, funny one with the biggest dreams in school, the one that never hurt anyone and was always happy even though I had no real friends, and now.. I'm the one suffering with the most hurtful thing I think someone can experience... completely losing themselves. I don't feel a connection at all with myself. I have no personality, I have no life, I have no energy, I have no charisma, I have no sense of humor, I have no empathy, I have no feelings, I have no strength, I have no confidence... all the things that made me ME, are completely gone and I just can't take it anymore.

I'm so scared because my parents did send me to a doctor, 2 or 3 times, and as you know, they rarely diagnose this problem.. and they said I was perfectly healthy, so now my dad (not my mom, shes way understanding) thinks I'm really crazy and wants to send me to a mental institution for a month to do experiments on me. I'm so terrified and I can't believe this is even happening, I was just a normal teenager that loved life 2 years ago before I took 3 months worth of Antibiotics !!! =( Now I'm struggling each day to survive the past 2 years with no enjoyment or happiness at all, and I'm really about to crack.. I never, ever, ever, ever ever ever in a million years would have ever thought of seriously contemplating suicide, but I'm getting close to the breaking point. I feel so helpless.. doctors don't help, my parents don't help, I just don't know what to do. I'm so disabled and handicapped that I physically and mentally can't function at times. Everything is just exhausted and blurry and unreal. Nothing is in focus. Just a big explosion of sadness and death that won't go away.

I wish I could somehow get a hold of some Cortef or Hydrocortisone... I could recover within a few months time I think if I had that, then I could move out by spring 2008, but there is no way I can get that with my parents being the way they are and the doctors being of no help!!!!!

What do you think of hydrocortisone cream? The kind you buy in supermarkets? Would that be enough to help? Please, I'm so desperate that I would do ANYTHING to just be normal again, ANYTHING.

Help me please, thank you. =(
 

 
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