No, I don't have an eating "disorder". I certainly have bad eating habits that I've had all my life. I might sit down and actually eat a "meal" once a month at the most NOW (big improvement, I'm not kidding). I grew up, BASICALLY, on hamburger and milk until I was 30 and rode the bike every day (my body has a healthy foundation from all that protein and exercise). In my early 30's, I became a workaholic (averaging at least a double shift). I took care of myself (ate) like I had a death wish (and no vitamins either). Actually, I was suicidally depressed for the first 51 years of my life. But I learned something about eating reasonably healthy when I was working a double shift so that you have enough energy and protein to be "comfortable" while working. A healthier way of eating is to "snack" all day. Smaller portions (even junk food and fast food, FOR ME) 10 times a day or so doesn't overload the digestive system with large meals or raise the blood Sugar levels to heights that "crash" by the time the next meal comes along (the blood Sugar levels stay at more manageable/sensible levels all throughout the day). Heavy digestion drains alot of energy from the body (after eating a well-balanced, well digestible meal, you get very tired for that reason).
I also know about "comfort zones"/habits. You are in full control of yourself. You CALL it a "disease", but you yourself don't really believe that it is a "disease", and so you also will call it a "disorder". You are even offering help to other people (a socially responsible and compassionate sentiment, God bless you). YOU HAVE A HABIT (comfort zone). Jason broke your heart twice and the first "relief" is what you're hanging on to (it's a HABIT/comfort zone).
"jason and i started dating again. we were honestly eating ice cream one day,which to this day i still can't believe i let happen, and i was like omg i feel "disgusting". i said, "i bet if i threw up i would feel better." so i got up went to the bathroom and tried to throw up. only a little bit came up but i felt so much BETTER."
The way you eat ($300 a week), you certainly don't have any trouble with self-esteem (you treat yourself very well, God bless you).
I imagine you are also fair and generous (the two defining qualities of an exceptional human being) to other people. Let's see...you are socially responsible because you are considerate of other people, and you know SORROW compassion because you know love as a SENTIMENT (but don't be sentimentAL about inaminate objects, keepsakes), NOT as a simple EMOTION (profound).
You have to come to grips with the broken heart (from how long ago?), but you can't convince me that anything is wrong with you except a HABIT (which is not really wrong, it's just an idiosyncracy).
I drum my fingers on the table, other people chew gum (it's for our nerves, comfort zone). Some people are not physically addicted to alcohol but find a healthy self-indulgence in a can of beer in order to periodically escape reality and relax (reality leaves a lot to be desired).
Coffee is a comfort zone/habit (a healthy gluttonous habit for me, I recovered from suicidal Depression a year ago and have developed a healthy arrogance,...self-recognition) and a healthy gluttony (treat myself well, couch potato?).