Meant to add

Want2, I wanted to add that I agree that misery isn't a lifelong thing, unless we wish it to be.

I know so many people who have become utterly dependant upon their misery. They have grown accustomed to their misery in this way: they know how they will feel each and every day; they know that drama/trauma will be the dominant theme in their lives; they are comfortable with their misery because there will be no changes or risks. Some people view their personal misery as a comfort blanket - it is always there, it is always predictable, and it envelopes them in a shell that will not allow risk, failure, or success. It sounds to me as if you're having emotional "growing pains" and it may seem as if it's a tsunami that's threatening to wash you away, but you are solid and, once it recedes, you'll feel cleaner, emotionally. It's like the raging summer storm that knocks out the power, dumps a ton of water, and blows over trees - it's a howling mess for a while, but once the storm has passed, the air is fresh and clean and the trees and plants have had the dead wood blown out of them. You're doing FINE and I'm sorry that I can't find better words of encouragement for you. Tweet