Re: bottled up misery

I know how it is to be everyones shoulder to cry on so to speak...even being as young as I am, I understand much more then most adults do. I was raped when I was fifteen and my mom was the one that avused me but not nearly as terrible as your experience was. I was molested by my cousin at four and my fathers side of the family tried to cover it up and still do to this very day. My ex-boyfriend dislocated my jaw and was both physical and emotionally abusive...and had issues all of his own which are hard to comprehend to this very day. I used to never be happy since I got molested...my parents always were fighting and school life was a nightmare all on its own. I am still not a very cheerful person...but what brings me up (I drank constantly and did "other" drugs since about 5th grade...so I can relate) is pushing away those sadden and horrible memories and just grasping on one good memory. That one good memory is a light stronger then most people realize. Your children to...look at them...if they turned out right then you did something great...you loved your children. I have a daughter of six-teen months and I am still with the father. I had a terrible pregnancy...betrayal of trust, emotional abuse, along with being stuck in one tiny room and my boyfriends fathers home while he drove around in my brand new truck and delt with his drug addictions...but for some reason when our child was born it all changed...and that memory is what I hold onto is his smile when she was in the world for the first time...that light in his eyes is what makes all of my past for some reason not matter to me anymore. Its hard to do, but if you can find that one happy memory...it may help...it will give you light in that dark world that you feel. You are a very strong person, just by the way you write...you have accomplished much and came along way...let that give you some light as well. Tweet