Re: problem with my sister
Yikes!
Obviously I do not recognize the situation as that bad, probably because I am too much involved ( at times I think that not even abuse is ever "as bad as you had thought" , probably b/c you slip into it day after day and it becomes acceptable).
I have tried to talk to my mom, but she calls me jealous. Thus I have stated that "it is not my business". I do not want to appear jealous. I have never been.
I do not dare talking to my Dad. He is too much brainwashed by sister.
See, since I dropped studying all their expectations/dreams have focused on her future and her needs. Sge has become the decision-maker. When my parents had to choose a new car last year, she made her choice and let them know just by dropping a few words here and there and making negative comments about the other choices they had in mind. they ended up buying the car SHE liked. And unfortunately, she is no more keen on her driver license this year, so they ended up with a car that she does not use and does not fit their needs either.
She is very manipulative, and guess where she did learn that? MY mother is very manipulative as well, but her martyr attitude always kept her from being so arrogant. My mother is a "guilt expert" , while my sister is way more up front with her expectations.
I actually makes me very sad to see my dad exploited by the 2 of them. HE has become extremely compliant and my mother has a way to offer HIMSELF to do something (i.e. like driving 200 miles )that is totally unrespectful. It did not used to be so! up to a few years ago he was a normal person with his own will.
My parents will not listen to me b/c they think I am an health nuts with problems. They will nod as I speak as if I was crazy. I actually cannot reach them at a deeper level and I hate talking to them b/c of this.
I was always been the unreliable, exaggerate person in my family and I doubt this will ever change.
the way problems were always addressed in my family could be resumed this way. whenever there was a problem, my mother subconsciously asked me to deny it, and I did. And so it goes on since I can remember if. when caught shoplifting at 15, I just had to tell her that it was a misunderstanding. when caught smoking cigarettes in the street, I told them it was the first one ever. and so on.
I cannot seem to find a way to make them trust me. she is way more trustworth to them than I am.
since this is my business, what to do then? what about brainwashing HER ? is that possible? or just stay away?