Re: problem with my sister
no_biz,
Your sister is a spoiled brat-narcissist. She is going to always be mean to your parents, and in fact, this is only the beginning, she will become diabolical and I wouldn't rule out "elder abuse" (it happened in my family, I lived 80 miles away from my mother, and mother and sister became a sado-masochistic team). If you do nothing to get your parents to wise up, aquaint yourself with "Elder law" (a real set of laws that became popular about 10 years ago). Unfortunately, your sister is not going to move forever to a foreign country where she will forever be out of your hair, it is too comfortable for her here. She will always be a much closer relative to your children than you wish. She will be their tormentors, she will ruin their lives, your life, and heaven forbid, she gets any of you put in jail or declared unfit to be a parent, will become their guardian.
Someday, when one of your parents dies, your sister might apply to have a "conservatorship" of the surviving parent (make all financial decisions). Your sister is a control freak narcissist capable of more evil than you would like to think, but she is young and your parents can put an end to her spoiled-brat living, so do not think it's none of your business (no matter what they say). As long as your sister is part of your life AT ALL,...IT IS YOUR BUSINESS.
If your parents choose to continue to be wimps and not stand up to your sister (they'll be sorry), it will impact your life and the lives of your family.
Your sister's attitude is that the world was made for her and everybody exists for her amusement.
Your parents feel guilty for doing things like not coming to visit you. They are defensive to you for this reason. Of course they don't want to admit their mistake for letting this continue, but if not stopped, it will get much worse.
If this continues, the best thing you can do for yourself and your family would be to move to another country.
IT IS YOUR BUSINESS.