I can definitely understand your frustration in gaining a healthy weight. Eight years ago, i was a size 18-20 and now i am 10-12. I ventured down this journey slowly not knowing which road to take. A year and a half ago, i was diagnosed with Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrome and boy did it explained to me ... why i was tired all the time, but because of my faith in God and strong will, i would push to do what i had too and some. I learned to remove a lot of items from my diet that i learned was a result of my feeling the way i did and i started educating myself on nutrition and what my body needed in order to function properly. Sometimes you have to take matters in your own hands and so i did. I researched read books and renewed my mind, that that this change will be a way of life for me. Loosing the weight is a slow process, but i will believe when its slow, you're more encourgaged to stick with it. I wasnt just on a diet ...looking at the scale everday to see if i lost any weight, but my focus was on feeling better, feeling like a normal person. I stoped with the unrefined Sugar items such as: sodas, cookies, candy, chips, cakes, white breads and flours, etc. and made water my ultimate drink with lemon in it. It has been about 7 years now that i only drink water with everything i eat, esp when i go out to restraurant. It's always water and lemon and i learned to love the taste. I also learned that your taste buds will get use to anything you consistently give it. I don't mean to be so long with my words, but i just want to encourage you to start somewhere, educate yourself about the body and nutrition. Even exercise play a big role in how you feel and having a healthy body. After my doctor diagnosed me, my friend gave me this juice called Tahitian Noni juice, after drinking it for 2 months i went back to my doctor for re-diagnosis and he was shocked as to the improvement that i made in such a short time. The only advice he could give me was to take vitamins, get lots of rest and make it the best way that i could. I wasnt satisfied with that, and so i researched and learned about the body and the many systems of the body and there uses. I learned that i had been abrusing my body when i didnt give it the proper nutrition. So stay encourage and yes you can loose weight and feel great. Also, try and surround yourself around health conscious people, people that have the same goals you do.