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Day 34 muscle mass? A bit of a rant about family members that know you're on the MC. (maybe I should save this for therapy) *LOL*
 
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Published: 15 years ago
 

Day 34 muscle mass? A bit of a rant about family members that know you're on the MC. (maybe I should save this for therapy) *LOL*


So I'm on Day 34. The cleanse for me at this point is pretty much on auto-pilot. I'm concerned when I felt the top of my legs, that they are not as dense in muscle mass. I feel flabbier also and I've been working out every day. I read somewhere that you have to be at least 40 days from eating no protein to lose healthy tissue. So I'm not that concerned about it. I've got 6 days left. I stepped on the scale yesterday and I think that was a mistake. I had been concentrating on inches lost (6.5" from my hips so far). I'm pretty confident my scale is off (I know, I know go ahead and start laughing). Still my old clothes fit me. I hadn't stepped on that scale in years and it was tucked away in the back of my vanity under some toiletries. That's okay, I won't step another one to affirm this is true or not. I think it was a mistake to break my original game plan.

I told my mom on Day 12 or so that I was on a cleanse and she was rather supportive about it. She even took a sip of the "Cajun Lemonade." She made a puckery face. I think she even made reference that she's going to incorporate that in to her diet in the morning. I gave her the spiel that she won't get the benefit unless she does a cleanse first. She can do 10 days and then do that. Two weeks later, she called me and left an ominous message on my voicemail. "This is Mom. Just wondering if you're still on your diet. I think you should come off it now, if you still are, just a feeling I have."

Okay, so between this voicemail and my watching VH-1's special on the last days of Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopez from TLC, this killed my evening. Lisa Lopez was in Hondurous doing a 30 days cleanse (not the MC, but a cleanse nonetheless) and doing self-directed documentary of her life as an autobiography. She later died in a car accident. So I called up Mom and asked her what triggered her to worry. She has a tendency to worry for worry sake and not ask for more information and jump to a conclusion. So I pressed her on it. She had to have talked to someone to get her changing her mind. She won't fess up. She said she "was just thinking about it." It didn't make any sense, she was completely in a different frame of mind 2 weeks ago when I first told her about it. She goes "how long are you going to do it?" Mom? "Well most people do this don't do that long and the most is 40 days." I guess she read some of the criticism online about it. I don't know if it was the Master-Cleanse clarity I had, but I was very direct with her.

"Mom, this kind of worry for worry-sake isn't productive and it's not supportive. I know you think you're doing so because you love me. Yet if I were honest, it's that fatalistic outlook that you have on life that you project for us as kids that is a familiar pattern for you. I'm not trying to upset you, but it makes it difficult for me to share things with you when you take information and process it
this way without any more information or clarification and make a judgment like that and then burden me with your negativity. I just wish that instead of precluding the worst for me, you'd ask me for more info, first. How about if I send you some links to reassure you that I'm not doing anything crazy by staying on the cleanse longer than 10 days?"

She was reluctant "okay but just send me one."
"Mom, that's my point. There is a ton of information out there and I didn't do this as a crash weight-loss diet. I did it to cleanse my system. After some of the things that I have been sharing with you lately, I think you would understand there is more of a spiritual element I'm chasing here. When you worry like this from a place of ignorance and then decline more information that might reassure you, I get concerned that this kind of worry thing that you do is a little compulsive at times. It would help me if you start having these kinds of feelings in the future, that you make a concerted effort to ask me for more information, before you start drawing conclusions for me."

I think I made her feel badly, but that wasn't my intention. I'm sure she cares, but it really bummed me out to get that message from her. I had asked her previously to keep my Master-Cleanse to herself and not share that with my family, because I don't need the criticism (motivated by ignorance) during this cleanse and need support. She told my sister and brother-in-law when she had dinner with them, because my brother-in-law "needs to lose weight off his gut." I really shook my head. He's one of those critical members that I didn't want her talking to. So I explained my disappointment with her talking about it. It's things situations like that, that make me want to disengage from her.

Anyway, here I am at day 34 wondering if I'm losing muscle mass and if I'm keep way too much flab and SURELY my scale must be lying. Regardless I'm done in 6 days.

Have a good week, everyone.

 

 
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