Views:
1,522
Published:
17 y
Re: Thanks for all the input!
I completely understand the fear of moving on - I left an abusive environment after nearly 15 years and two children into an utterly unknown of financial stability, housing security, and employment issues. It is much, much easier (and, less expensive!) to leave BEFORE entering into the legal, binding contract of marriage. Divorce is expensive, painful, damaging, and the only people who "win" in a divorce are the attorneys.
As to why people say the things that they do, who knows? Is it a control issue? Is it a self-esteem issue? Only the individual making the comments knows. That you have made your discomfort obvious and he continues choosing to inflict emotional damage is a warning of worse things to come if you make the choice to enter into a marriage with this man.
Three years may seem like a long time, but in the scheme of things, it's just a drop in the bucket of your lifetime. You will make the right choice for your Self (your Life's Spark), I am confident. I feel that you have been looking for acknowlegment of your concerns and you'll do what is best for you, in the long run. It may help to remember that love is open, love is trusting, love is supportive, love is honesty, love is safe, love is encouraging, and (above all) love is accepting. Love is not degrading, demanding, hurtful, controlling, dishonest, or painful.
Best wishes to you! You have a lifetime of adventures ahead of you!