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Re: Thanks for all the input!
 
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Published: 17 y
 
This is a reply to # 882,771

Re: Thanks for all the input!


"He sees me as "perfect" when a lot of people think I'm almost too thin. This could also be a trigger for an eating disorder if I let it get to me (but I don't)!"

He might indicate to you that he views you as being of "perfect" size, but he's giving you plenty of warnings about his idea of perfection. First of all, there is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT - physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. We are, each and every one of us, flawed human beings. Molly Bloom's description is so beautiful and candid with regard to her flaws - I have adopted her description because her wording allows us to embrace the beauty of our humanity. This man is telling you that dangerously thin women are the only ones who maintain any value in His World. Although I am morbidly obese, have an education, am extremely talented, and am well-read, I am valueless in His World? Please - I would like to type something very nasty about people like that and I will refrain out of courtesy.

Your boyfiend is dropping copious hints to you about how your life will be with him, down the road. He is letting you know, in no uncertain terms, that you had better remain "perfect" in his eyes, or you will be tossed aside in the same way that he discards others whom he deems are not up to his visual standard. Trigger an eating disorder? Are you KIDDING??? He's actively setting you up for emotional (and, possibly, physical) damage by laying down his superficial criteria. That's why women spend multi-billions of dollars every year for breast implants, lip injections, cosmetic surgery, liposuction, GASTROPLASTY.

I would walk away from this man without batting an eye, earn a degree in something that would make a difference in the world, and realize that I do not need a man (or, woman) to tell me who or what I am. As I fondly love to recall from the days of Women's Liberation, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."



Best wishes to you.
 

 
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