Seeking advice
I have been involved with someone for 2 years - we are in love and I can't imagine life without him. He is divorced with 2 children ages 4 and 8. Initially, I was concerned that he would not want to have anymore kids. I have always wanted to have my own child and am 35 and 1/2, so know I need to get moving on it. When we first got involved and were falling in love, he assured me that he did 100% want more children, so that should not be a deterrent to our getting more serious. So we did. I love his kids and have a good relationship with them but t that still does not change the fact that I would like my own too. Then about a year ago he as much admitted that he wasn't 100 percent sure anymore about having more kids. He would say he wasn't sure and couldn't give me an answer. I was crushed but decided to wait to see if he could get clarity on the issue and hope that he would change.
And now here we are 1 year later and he is in a terrible financial position - got evicted and living out of hotels and renting a car. I have waited patiently for things to turn around but he can barely take care of his own kids now (he shares joint custody with his ex-wife so he has them every two days). I am faced with some health issues now which may require me to make some serious decisions about pregnancy - needing to get pregnant soon before surgery. I know he doesn't want to lose me and now says he wants another child, but I am not sure I believe him or that he even has clarity on the subject given the financial crisis he is in. By the way, I begged him consistently the past 2 years to do things to change his financial situation and he always put things off, didn't listen to me and let bad things roll over him. Yest, I still tried to be patient because I love him, but in reality I am not sure it is even fair of me to ask him (or to an unborn child or to his other 2 kids) to be a father again. But I don't want to give up on this and feel mislead and out of time. Any advice would be appreciated. Having children (or more) has always been a deal breaker for me but I am heart broken at the thought of losing him...but also frustrated that he has not done more to improve his situation so more kids could even be a reality. My gut tells me I need to move on and let him fix his life for himself and his kids. . Help!