Dear Heloise: We have an ugly bush in front of our house. We had high hopes when we planted it there 6 years ago, but it has gone completely out of control and become an embarassment. All the neighbors are talking about it and wondering why we haven't removed it. It's reflecting badly on my whole family. What's the best way to get rid of this unsightly, horrible thing? --H.C.E., San Antonio Texas
Dear H.C.E.: This is a tricky one. Bushes can be really stubborn, and terribly resistant to removal. You need to buy several peach trees and plant them around the bush, creating an imprisonment or impoundment by peach trees. Technically, this is called im-peaching a bush. ARE YOU LISTENING, PEOPLE? DOES HELOISE HAVE TO DRAW A LITTLE CRAYON PICTURE FOR YOU?