This is a reply to # 831,497

re: "a spark"

"chemistry", we call it and we know it  involves a lot more than we are consciously aware of, but attraction happens at a lot of levels. John Bradshaw talks about the magnetism of one (wounded) inner child to another--that it is these two that are meeting, while the 'apparent' persons meeting are adults who look perfectly grown up, perfectly 'able'. How else to explain one person's *finding* another, out of a whole roomful, across countries even, and just zoning in on that 'one' -- when one or both turn out to be wounded in the same way: drugs, alcohol, abuse, extreme codependency, etc...one fits the other like a puzzle piece to a puzzle. Or like Chiron, symbolic of the wound to the spirit, the 'wounded healer' motif, the persistent  ache that can drive a person to heal themselves, often making an enormous transformation--one that could have taken lifetimes. ( and can change the course of others' lifetimes, since all is connected )

then there's the resonance of other lives-- called "karmic" relationships. These can have co-dependant elements as well, where one or another of the two feels they just can't quit--that they "have to" keep on. Sometimes both people have the sense that the relationship will literally 'kill them'--might even repeat that, and one might even contrive to become seriously ill to force a split. (but what is really happening in that 'illness'? Could it possibly be that the ill one carries a deep sense of guilt for some forgotten past 'action'. Is this "bad karma"?)  People would be shocked to learn that their partners, parents, children may have been their murderer in another life, or they the one who committed such an act. So being unconscious of these levels can be a form of saving grace. It's all about balancing though ; every act, every thought, every prayer is stored, encoded, so -- the last shall be first, the first last, and so on and on and on...until one can stop the cycles of becoming. And returning, especially unconsciously. It may be hard to believe but some 'minds' really do 'choose their birth', even remember previous lifetimes. Birth and life then can become a real gift to others. Meditation is a good way to begin to perceive this endless "building" of lifetimes. Just one moment of 'now' can undo a lot of entanglements. One moment of recongnition of perfect Divine Love, ever-present, can undo the thrall of seeking after that, in some starving person's version - small - l love, in the form of any 'special relationship'.

So many relationships are based on unfinished business. Old 'contracts' made in another time, to 'never leave'?
The contract ( soul level agreement ) to change places and experience the other side of things. To be the nurturer?
To 'never give up on' the person? The Soul doesn't view the "I"'s sufferings -or its 'successes' in the same way the ego does. (ego has no True memory: it's all about "me", now, eternally) The Soul knows there is a 'beyond suffering' that has little to do with any individual "I", though again, nothing is lost. Nothing dismissed or discarded, in its truest essence.


Look how far afield this is! from the question of one person's vs another's pH;  the one who tries the most
being the one who -- tries the most . hmmmm


just a few 'pH' thoughts  :-)

PS
Sometimes, a person can be cruising on a store of 'good karma'-- what was banked in the far past, another lifetime. You can't see the source, so you think it's all happening 'now'. It can be mystifying that such a person 'does so well', and seems able to get past the normal rules of cause and effect.  But this is why holy teachings teach you should pray for such people--even if you yourself are 'worse off'. You can *absolutely know* that 'what goes around comes around'. As to thie timeing? well--you can't know that. It only makes good practical sense to see things in the bigger view.