As far as incubation period - I went four months without having sex had never had an outbreak (on my genitals) then had my first outbreak. This was after be concerned about genital herpes because a girl I was kind of seeing told me she had it once (a year prior). When I discussed it with her again she said she didn't have it and it was just scare. She's very honest. That night I (drunkenly and briefly) performed oral on her and two weeks to the day later I got herpes (downtown). You would think I would have it all over my lips if it was from her. She didn't touch me. I never even took my underwear off. How did I get genital herpes?
Hope that answers part of your dilemma. For the rest you might want to speak to Oprah.