Life is short & this sounds like too much of a compromise. Driving in the Bay area is a necessity especially living in Oakland. The enviroment there is challenging & having a car to leave is vital.
It sounds like you already know this person isn't right for you.
There is a whole world of people out there and once you choose a person it is harder to then leave. When you marry someone there shouldn't be any question in your heart or mind.
If it's a YES than it will be a YES...while it's still an "I don't know it's a NO....!!!!
Everything in life is a reflection of your choices. Settling will make you bitter and this man sounds like he will make your life miserable. Toss him back to the universe and ask for someone better to share your life with...!!!