I live next to Oakland. Oakland is a very stressful city. I know many people that live there, but they live in the hills, and shop in Berkeley or Piedmont, and they are young. Lake Merrit, while beautiful, has an OK side and a bad side. My grandmother lived on the good side in a senior building, and her neighbor was mugged at the front door. And that was 30 years ago. I've watched them try very hard to revitalize that city, and in some cases they have made it better, but in some ways it's much more violent. I would feel more comfortable living in San Francisco than Oakland. And I did live in San Francisco for many years, and I worked in both Oakland and San Leandro. I am very familiar with the area.
Personally, I think you might be very unhappy there.
And to give it all up for a guy who you are already having some doubts? How long have you known this man?
I am 50 years old also. That is not that old. If you are 50, that is way too soon to give up your life and career, unless you are head over heels in love with this man. Are you? Do you just have the desire to be with him all the time? It's hard to tell about your emotional attachment from the email.
I agree with the other posters, no need to jump into things. Get to know him much much better. Time will tell you all you need to know.