Yeah, some days are like that. It is good that you are
at least aware that the behaviors you have used to cope
with are not ones which will serve you long term.
Aging is a reality. I know as someone past the half
century mark there comes a time when you decide if you
will join the ones on the couch, numbed out on television
and their personal inner tape recordings that emphasize
their worst fears or apathy, OR you have the choice to
go out and blaze your own way, sans expectations, and with
wonder and enthusiasm for who you are becoming. There is
much freedom for those of us who no longer have to live
up to anyone elses expecations or limitations. You can
find joy in your life and in those who do love you. I put
my feet on the floor in the morning, thankful I have the
blessings I do and focusing on what I have and not on what
I do not have. I have gotten bunged up a few times on my
life's path and so have had to grow a sense of humor which
has served me much better than bitterness. The days I feel
old and look it...(@_@)...I dont look in the mirror. The
chances are the next day, I will look glowing again. Beauty
is to be cultivated at all ages and I grew up admiring my
elders and in finding my Grandmothers wisps of silver and
smile creases looking back at me in the mirror, I smile to
think I am following in her footsteps. My choice is to live
well and find joy. My friends are also aging and so we tend
to laugh a little louder and hug a little harder and more
often but it is with hope and love that we go forth each
day, seeking to improve the quality of life for ourselves
and those we love.
If you are lonely, and live in a community, seek out others.
You may find friendly faces anywhere from wandering in a
flea market or a farmers market, or your library or different
sponsored events, church, etc. When I was growing older and my
daughter was pulling away from me with her own interests, I
found company in a meditation group, and a monthly group where
people got together and discussed what their dreams meant. I know,
a little strange and yet, it was something to look forward to
and very healing in that little by little my world grew and blossomed
and I had to eventually pick and choose what to do since I had so many
friends and options. Classes are often offered at health food stores.
So consider looking and you will notice the little flyers and
invitations to go to events. Free day at the museum, that sort
of thing. All the things I did to shift my life were found from
the newspaper or bulletin boards~!
Another thing which has always helped me when I was depressed
is to start out with a bath and some relaxing music. Then a
leisurely foot massage and the usual spa things we women love
to do to make ourselves feel good. Well, beside chocolate until
AFTER your cleanse. Even laying out in the sun or starting a
new book will take your mind off of your worries and allow
you to consider other choices in your life. I particularly enjoy
listening to or reading inspirational stuff which is often like a
prescription for success. Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Marianne
Williamson...all are comforting and inspirational when you need
a nudge out of your old (dis)comfort zone.
Exercise is always a major boon to dealing with Depression and
something as simple as a walk, or as focused as actually joining
a gym can be a profound change. I joined the YMCA and was always
going to a swim exercise class or sweating in the company of
others, or commiserating in the sauna with other people, some
of them there with the same goals I had, to expand my world.
Most of all, think outside your box, change from a cant-do to
a can-do and keep that momentum going. You will have days when
rolling over in bed is your favorite option, but there will be
other days when the day is yours and you will feel like you
have direction and are on a path to happiness.
Fortunately for you, you have more awareness and thus more options
than your mother did. You also have time to stop the slide toward
a life of just existing. It does involve choosing to do this and
that may be your biggest challenge. Is it worth fighting for? Only
you can know. I thought it was, for me. There is part of me that
has found fertile ground in my imagination and I intend to follow
in the footsteps of some really groovy older women who never seemed
to stop smiling no matter how many hardballs life threw at them.
Those are the people I want to be like and am like. Personally I
think I have redefined my idea of success to include aging gracefully.
Too often, that we no longer resemble the body of our youth is
emotionally like a wreck some never recover from. Certainly that is
not my fate, nor does it have to be yours. Look at all your favorite
older actresses and see that their beauty is more than skin deep.
Cultivate inner qualities of joy...peace, harmony, self-assuredness,
and others will find you attractive at any age. Smile at yourself
in the mirror and fall in love with YOU all over again...ggg.
You are worth saving from the part of yourself which makes you feel
the blah blahs and pain of depression. Roberta recently posted about
her doctor who was 104 when she stopped seeing patients but she had
passed on some good info which could apply to Depression and self-
"She said: "Pain is like an itch. If you focus on it, it's a lot
worse and it rarely ever just stops." She continued, "If you can
focus on other things, your pain gets more tolerable. This is
not easy to do at first, but with practice, sometimes you may not
even notice your pain at all." https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=769894#i
I hope tomorrow, your blahs have flushed away with your lemonades
and plenty of water. You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself
in cleansing. I wish you the best on your healing journey~~!