NEVER panic, we are stonger (even if sometimes foolish) than we think, deep sigh

I am blessed. And foolish. And wise. Ah, the lessons.
I'm now 24 plus 4 hours with NO sleep. I wasted a lot of energy dealing with what I know better than to do, insurance company. I was looking for relief, and ya'll can understand that.

Blessed because the sleep clinic doctor was a man who could SEE, and because I sounded so desparate "What about TONITE" I wailed to the receptionist, and they said come straight down. I looked like hell, but I was wise enough to have my daughter drive me.

I have to make this long story short, and I will ask for advice at the end if I remember.

I filled out a zillion pieces of paper, talked to the nurse practitioner, and then the doctor came in. He looked at me searchingly and asked "what do you want me to DO for you, Mrs. X? I said I'd tried most everything and a sleep clinic I hadn't. I wanted to know if they could hook me up and figure out why I wasn't sleeping, while I do this THING. And I needed something for that night.

Oh this is getting long. Breathe. He asked me some questions and said, "I am not a psychiatrist or a psychologist (accent unknown) But sometimes I see through people It's what is around you that is the problem. Quit showing your weakness and show your strenth. I don't think the test would show anything conclusiove. I joked "and it would cost ME about as much as a ticket to Hawaii?" He smiled. NOt to mention the insurance nightmare.

Anyway, I said, What about tonight. He gave me a sample of Rozerem. Said it had least side effects. He said with my size and smallness, he didn't dare give me anything too strong, and he gave me someother kind, although misguided advice, and some that was right on. Said to take the pill an hour before bed.

I'm going to leave the details out. At 1:30 I was NOT sleeping, it had barely touched me. I put in my ear plugs, and it sounded like a river in my head, instead of a drum beat. I came close to panic, I'd questimate my heart was going between 140-200 bpm. I called a friend, no answer. The message I left said was "If you were supposed to help me, you'd pick up. This must be mine to deal with it, and I did."

Thought about coming on here first.No. Prayed.
Flush with water. Drank about a half gallon. (oh, I left out the part where at about 11 I took 6 Sleep Essentail capsules with one glass water) Thought about cayenne, no that is for heart stopping, not speeding. CoQ--my herb/supplments too disorganized to find it. Went to soak in tub, breathing. Knew I couldn't do an enema, even though that would have been good. Too much pain, stresses me to do one.

One advantage I had is a friend from a now disbanded healing circle who panicked, went to the er, and now has a pace maker (opps, the nicked her heart when they were doing a simple clearing of artery, but hey, at least they didn't charge her for the pacemaker sugery) I remembered that. And I knew not to ask from help from my husband, "real nurse on call" and my one friend who is ALWAYS there for the first time in 12 years was unavailable I'd just said a couple days before "What will I do without him if he can't be there". He was in a situation with no phone--I'd talked to his wife that morning.

stop. too long.
I made a reservation at an inexpensive hotel. I'll probably get to check this once before I go. Remind me: what herbs/supplements to take. I've drank tart cherry tonight, sea vitamins, and of course, blackstrap molasses. NO KELP> We'll see.
pj

Oh, please be patient. On this little sleep my mind is doing it's best, but I FORGET,and half to use my energy just to get fromplace a to be. So don't scold me. I DON"T NEED THAT> I"M ALREADY RUNNING ON "FLIGHT OR FIGHT"

Send me a prayer when you finish this, one filled with love, peace, quietness or whatever you deem best.

of course, your wisdom as well. But breath deeply before you offer you advice (face toward Kentucky/Tennesssee/Indiana in your mind. And be selective. And just send a prayer if you think it will just overwhelm me. No chastisment needed, I know I was foolish. But I have to get through tonight. The OTHER doctor has already mentioned ten broeke, so .....we aren't even going there. Please picture me sleeping like a baby and letting go.
sending love to you all
and if I get some rest, I'm going dancing. very SLOWLY.

THE PAIN IS the pain right now is:
spine ankles wrists neck is in agony, shoulders not as bad Tweet