I am sorry you are feeling this way. I think you have done a good thing by finding this website as there are ways for you to feel good again. I was once in the dark place were I wanted to die. The only thing that used to stop me was that I didn't want to hurt my family but I used to try and think of how I could do it. Please get help. Docs will probably advise anti depressants but this will only mask the problem. I truly think a person feels this way when the body is so toxic that it interferes with your chemicals in your brain. I don't feel like I want to die anymore, I got my metal fillings taken out and I am going to cleanse my body to health again. Oh yeah and my body odour smelt so strange and very bad. Your body is doing it's best to detox but you need to help it. get your teeth sorted by a biological dentist who understands these issues, a regulare dentist may not. Do the cleanses, there are a few on this site to choose from. I chose Hulda Clark s. You can get well again and be happy, you deserve it like anybody else and none of this is your fault. You are unwell fullstop and you can do this, promise! I did!