I have been reading your posts for quite a while now. It seems to me that you have several different issues. When someone has a complex or severe set of symptoms, it is usually best to refer him to a professional for treatment. My suggestion to you is that you look for a holistic practitioner of some sort in your area who you can physically see for treatment. Although people on this message board are genuinely trying to help, they are limited in what they can do without a thorough patient history and the kind of training that a professional will have.
There are many different kinds of holistic practitioners. The most mainstream is probably the chiropractor. There are Homeopaths and Naturopaths as well. Just do an internet search for holistic practitioners in your area... shouldn't be too hard to find. When you pick one, make sure you ask about his/her credentials and any special training that he/she may have. It would be great if you could find one who has experience in treating people with lots of fears and obsessions, but it isn't mandatory. As long as you find a well-trained, experienced professional, you should be on the right track.
Please don't list excuses as to why you cannot go to a local holistic practitioner. The bottom line is that if you really do want to be well, you will do the work necessary to achieve wellness. You can find practitioners in your area and you can most likely find one who is willing to work with your income level. You deserve wellness as much as the next person... please don't sell yourself short by refusing to get the kind of help you need.