When I was in college I did pot, hash, and coke. I had friends, but they weren't real friends, just other dopers. I met Jesus one night and decided to throw the stuff out. Hard to do- expensive habit. It was hard to leave my old friends and old, comfortable (miserable) way of life, ask for help, and connect with Christians. I wasn't very impressed with many of the Christians I knew at the time, but there was one professor that acted like a "real" Christian should, in my mind. I went to him the day after I accepted Christ and asked for help. You wouldn't believe the outpouring of help I received after that and the wonderful new friends I made. One of them became my husband.
I had a really bad self-esteem problem, but over time I learned how much God loved me and had so much planned for my life. I did want the drugs, but I turned my back on them and never went back. I took one hour at a time, just as it sounds like you are doing.
There are a ton of people here on Curezone who are willing to help you through this. Any time you struggle you can post. It would also be good if you can find a couple of real people, not just us cyberfriends. Somebody you could talk to 24/7 and kick you in the rear if you need it.
I am praying for you, as I know others are. You are strong. You can do this. People do care about you.