Let me continue with one of my favorite parts of the post.
"B(irth).C(ontrol). has existed for millenia."
OK, that seems impossible to argue with.
"God's people, Israel, did not practice B.C...The one man mentioned as practicing B.C, Onan, was struck dead...The scriptures clearly state that part of the issue was the manner in which Onan refused his duty - by spilling his seed..."
So, he refers to the Biblical story of Onan, who refused to impregnate his dead brother's wife, instead mastur-, er, "spill(ed) his seed" (I guess he decided that he had got to decide where his own sperm ended up, or what it was used for), as an example of his imaginary Bible Heroes practicing "B.C." Therefore,
spilling your - oh, hell, self-gratification is a form of birth control. And since it is, and since birth control was not tolerated by the Israelite elders, self-gratification is punishable by death.
But then he throws in a monkey wrench. He backtracks somewhat, saying that it wasn't so much the self-gratification that garnered the death penalty, it was more the WAY he spank the monkeyd; apparently, it would have been bad, not not quite death-penalty bad, if instead of ejaculating into the wind, he had instead come inside his shoe, which he would then have given to someone named Boaz, who apparently was supposed to empty the shoe into her...well, never mind. But that all sounds pretty freaky, although in essence I guess it's no different from donating your sperm to a Bank.
Well, he can't have it both ways. Either self-gratification is birth control, which is punishable by death, or it's something that is OK to do as long as you collect your 'seed' in a cup and throw it in the freezer for further use, or use it immediately in an attempt to knock up your cousin.
Oh wait, I forgot. Mr. Wilson's response to that would be, "the real sin was that he disobeyed God, who had ordered him to knock up his relative." In other words, if God told you to jump off the bridge, you'd do it, wouldn't you? Not only is this God a control freak, who likes having people obey his every whim, but he comes up with some truly freakish "tests" for His Chosen People. I mean, impregnate you brother's wife, kill your youngest son, start all over again and repopulate the entire planet after I wipe out everyone else on earth
(which, like the offspring of Adam and Eve, bring up all kinds of incest issues), let me destroy your entire freakin' life just so I can win a bet about how strong your faith is....the list goes on.
So, excuse me if I find it entirely unreasonable to believe in the existence of such a God. Such a jealous, ugly, paternalistic controlling monster would have just wiped us out completely with The Flood, or a pandemic, or by crashing a comet into the earth, and started his strange little games, with some new life form that he created from scratch. We would have gotten on this guy's nerves one too many times, that He would have gone off, and there would be no Noah around to continue the species.
But wait, Mr. Wilson would reply, God loves us, which is why he kept giving us more chances, after we constantly exercised the free will he supposedly gave us to not do what he supposedly wanted us to do. Yes, any man would be happy to be the recipient of a love like that. It's like being with a woman who tells you that you are free to see other women, but if she catches you so much as looking at another woman she will kill you dead. (My, that was somewhat sexist! Where did that come from?)
Well, my version of love doesn't involve a system of promises and threats and rewards and punishments. It doesn't require being loved back in return; at any rate, it doesn't require me to hold back a proportionate amount of affection if a proportionate amount is not returned to me. In other words, it puts no conditions on love. If this God truly loved all people, he would not make it a requirement to first unconditionally believe in his existence before he will find you worthy of receiving his Perfect Love.
So, yo tell me. self-gratification - Threat or Menace? I'm "dying" to know.