And since no one else has posted yet, I will lead you to what the problem is. It's your choice to accept it and learn from it, or reject that knowledge and get worse. Same with her.
What is a pill?
Do you know what that pill contains?
How it was made and where it came from?
Are 'side effects' really 'side' effects? or are they 'effects'?
What a clever way to hide it? As if negative things are supposed to happen 'on the side'. Like a side of eggs with your pancakes: Is that not an order of eggs? And we hide it by saying that it is on the side because it is next to the pancakes? Maybe the pancakes are next to the eggs?
The words we use to describe things all have different meanings, and they can mean similar things, but they are not the same otherwise there wouldn't be 2 or more words for it. Like beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, etc. They all have their roots on languages based before english, but how do they differ?
In their spelling?
In their pronunciation?
Yet they have different effects.
So what then... is the result of the usage of those words?
That entirely depends on the knowledge of the subject they are being directed to.
Through experience (not time), we learn more efficient methods of control. And this control controls us, because that's what control is: Control. Killing is killing, hating is hating, and love is love: No matter what it is, it's clear surface shines bright. But underneath; it's truth is revealed. Shall we act on these truths with more truth? or shall we act on these truths with a cover?
The choice is yours to accept. The truth will set you free.