Make sure that you don t replicate what she is doing with your family and friends. In other words be aware if you find yourself behaving the way she is.
I found myself being put down for years by my parents, so much so that no matter what anyone said to the contrary, I thought I was the problem and believed myself to be at fault. I then recreated the situation finding a wife that I could deride. Unpickling my friendships over my life I realize that I was puuting everyone down just like my parents did to me. (It transpired that both my parents were put down and criticised by their parents)
It is difficult to change others, a better route is to be aware of what is happening (as you are) and in the right company retrace your emotional encounrters with your family. When a parent behaves badly towards their child if the other doesn t correct that behaviour then they too are party to bad behaviour.
My thoughts, work on your emotional past and future will look after itself.