Re: well...42781 &...

How are YOU doing? You haven't posted lately, and I miss your 'wisdom', even if it is "wisdom born of pain". I guess there is no monopoly on that, even if it is from a 'woman's' song.

I'm not feeling wise. I'm feeling yuck, stuck in the muck....and I'm at where I've been many times before, but I'm trying to get out of the rut and not take the road that is habit--returning back into my depression. Two mornings I've laid (lain?) in bed and thought, it's back. I'm in the hole. Then I've convinced myself that is a lie, and got up, and gotten through the day, made some effort to prove that I am NOT headed there. It would be EASY, but I have fought SO hard....it's a mental choice this time. Yes, physically I'm exhausted. If I can make that okay....
Yes, I'm not thinking clearly, and I've done some stupid things (forgetting etc). But that doesn't mean I HAVE to return to depression.

BIG SIGH. HELP SIGN OUT. ALL ADVICE WELCOME.

(even if it is to go back and read old advice. I printed a bunch of it off--and lost it. I feel TOTALLY overwhelmed and indesisive, and I'm not scared, but I am very nervous that I'm standing at the brink of my personal hell (depression) and a couple pushes in either direction .....hey, I'm the one who decides, but I'm feeling physically crappy. If I'd just 'give in' and be sick....but I'm fearful...that's what I've said BEFORE....and it has taken me down the Depression hole. Crap, I've got too many fears. I AM GOING TO GET WELL, BE WELL, AND WORK THROUGH THIS,

pj
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