Autumn, 42781, and all other caring folks....

I was nervous, anxious, and worried about our second meeting with a church leader acting as a mediator--I instigated this whole thing. Then things escalated Sunday evening--it was not pretty. My husband said he would meet ALONE with said Chruch leader first, and then perhaps I could come in. I was pretty concerned, BUT he said he would have MY counselor on the phone with them (That was a blessing) So I tried to relax, got an accupunture treatment before hand, prayed like crazy, and called my counselor for some last minute advice. I was worried that it was going to blow up in my face. I'm the one that has the 'problem', and I'm the one 'bucking for change".

Actually our meeting with our ecclesiatic leader went well--I saw a
more humble side of my husband. The leader asked that my husband meet
twice a month with his local church leader, that he work on his anger
issues, that he agree to attend marriage counseling for a year with
me, that he keep me informed about financial matters and, on the lighter side, that he take
me out on a date once a month. I got several other vital concessions for my health and sleeping issues.

I was very amazed and pleased at how well it went--I had been worrying
and worrying and worrying. The first visit has sucked....maybe all the
prayers people were sending helped this visit.

So, we will see. I know my husband loves me and I love him; it's just
gotten 'lost', and his issues, unresolved, have festered. So, we will
see how it goes. I wasn't origninally thrilled about the marriage counseling--I've
had counseling for 12 years, and he hasn't, but I was so amazed my
husband didn't balk at that (I've suggested it MANY times over the
years and he said WE didn't need it)that I quickly realized it would be foolish for me to.

So, he has agreed not to restrain his yelling and not to throw things. And it was pretty
humbling for him to have me 'share' his weaknesses with someone he
admires and trusts. In the past, he has wanted it to all be MY
problem. And a HUGE part of it is.....

The small details aren't worked out, and I get to make the appointment with the marraige counselor--but hey, that's no big deal. I felt very relieved after the meeting, happy,lighthearted almost.

Then, anyone want to give me there take on this one--I had horrible stomach cramps as I was trying to get to sleep (aftershocks perhaps?) and then I had a really awful nightmare when I did finally get to sleep. It wasn't the restful night I had expected.

So, I guess I learn to let expectations go, focus on my health, and use you guys as a sounding board. I REALLY feel that this marriage has a chance, and that regardless, I have the opportunity to get mentally healthy.

Keep praying for me. I love you guys! Thanks for all your counsel, advice, caring,a nd prayers.

peace and joy, bits at a time,
cause I'm remembering
my heritage is divine.
The road is rocky,
the path is not straight
I'm going to make it,
Isn't that GREAT?!!

that was off the top of my head. It IS going to be a good day!
pj

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