continued at 2 a.m....

I popped up for some hot water, internet was on, and was responding to Invincible on another forum....hope you don't mind the 'cut and paste'....don't want to give up to much what ought to be 'sleeptime' (I hope)

"I comfortably and easily release the old and welcome the new in my life. I AM SAFE." This is a Louise Hays thingie (ugh, memory lapse) suggested by Invincible...for my 'urgent' bladder issue. Here's my response....

The new is really cool (I'm meeting 'like minded people' and learning great things, and I do welcome that and the new (my son and I were teasingly explaining to my newly turned 17 year old about how, if she were stranded in the desert, or trapped in an accident where she couldn't get free, that her urine could save her....and she was utterly disgusted with how 'gross' we were....and this daughter is the 'child' who was so stressed out and exhausted that she wet her bed Thursday nite....sigh...and we are gross for even talking about the fact urine MIGHT be recycleble....

Am I safe? I don't think I FEEL safe. One daughter moved home from college yesterday, and it's like the younger one felt embolded to be more challanging and disrespectful....I'm concerned. I've been listening to tapes about opening chakras, and obviouvly my third has problems (okay, they all have problems, but I've only listened up to the third one)...and I'm trying to not be pushed around by my VERY powerful children....I have a powerful husband and four powerful children....the fifth was born on my birthday, he's mellow...

I Feel (i know, it's only a feeling) concerned that they are going to all gang up on me....how dare I try to change and expect them to respect me....I'm worried. and worn out....

well, I just popped upstairs for hot water and a potty trip....back to the basement to sleep, or at least lie quietly....to sleep! I'm trying to be more positive....but I didn't say half of what I wanted to say last night, and my throat closed down...sore as anything....my hubby went to bed at 8:30--just disappeared, and then my 22 yr. old started whining that if I went to bed at 9, I would be 'abandoning" her in the kitchen(she cooked dinner, I helped, then she recooked dinner for her boyfriend and his sister...and I wasn't cleaning up a second mess. I teased with her...but underneath the teasing is a challange....)

Well, ....I'm questioning if I REALLY believe the universe is a good place, and if so, therefore I must be safe. (The negativity in my kitchen from the sister of the boyfriend was HORRIBLE...and I went to bed questioning if I have the right to put a stop to such negative stuff--I have a small home, but they were GUESTS. I feel it in my shoulder--that responsiblity pain....I SHOULD be nice at ALL costs?

That's where I'm at this moment....and my body needs to be back in bed, so away I go. Thanks for 'listening' Autumn and all....
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