Much of his reaction may be coming from feeling defensive. I recently read that it is better to use "I" statements then "you" statement in regards to feelings. An example would be "I feel very insecure since I discovered..." as opposed to, "You've distroyed my trust." The "you" format causes a feeling of needing to be defensive and then being open is impossible. It might also be a good idea to express how you feel. That might take some time for you to think about, but it would be worth it. Things like how the lack of intimacy makes you feel and how you find yourself thinking during the day. If he's a guy willing to express himself some asking what he sees as a "busy day" (what he means) would be good too. That way you understand what he is talking about. Often it's these little misunderstandings that cause the problems to become so big.