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I'm in a mess, totally confused, HELP!!
 
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Published: 20 y
 

I'm in a mess, totally confused, HELP!!


Hello everybody,
I'm a 38 yr old divorced female currently in a relationship with a married man (all you married women out there must hate me!). This has been going on for 4+ years and in fact, it was after meeting him that my marriage became strained, and led to the divorce with my husband. Anyway, when we first met, it was really our characters, personality and interest that attracted us to each other. It was as if we had found our soul mates in each other. I have no kids but he had one and now, another is on the way!! I am totally lost. On the one hand, I know that I should leave him for the good of both of us but on the other hand, he tells me that he needs me, and that he would like us to be companions to each other till we die (not sure what he is driving at as I do not see him having any intentions of leaving his family). Things have been going on really well (couldn't be better) for both of us since my divorce more than a year ago, but when he broke news that his wife is expecting another baby, it really shoke me. (I guess it will always be difficult for a woman to accept their man sleeping with 2 women.)

He has told me that he still loves his wife and that his family will always have a bigger share of his heart, but I will be the special one who will always get the best even though it is a smaller share (what do you think guys/gals? Crab??). He also mentions that he feels like he is leading 2 separate lives. But it is not a problem as he is capable of loving 2 people at the same time.!

I feel that I am kinda like at a cross road. One part says that I should be brave and leave him, but another part of me tells me that we should hang on (yes, hate me...) as soul mates are hard to come by.? I love him truly and dearly but each time I think about him and his wife happy together (especially when they continue to have a healthy sex life), I ask myself 'why are you there?' But I don't know anymore... I am confused... maybe someone out there can share some experiences with me... give me some opinions... can I, should I ignore the presence of his wife when we are together??? Help!!!
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Hello everybody,
I'm a 38 yr old divorced female currently in a relationship with a married man (all you married women out there must hate me!). This has been going on for 4+ years and in fact, it was after meeting him that my marriage became strained, and led to the divorce with my husband. Anyway, when we first met, it was really our characters, personality and interest that attracted us to each other. It was as if we had found our soul mates in each other. I have no kids but he had one and now, another is on the way!! I am totally lost. On the one hand, I know that I should leave him for the good of both of us but on the other hand, he tells him that he needs me, and that he would like us to be companions to each other till we die (not sure what he is driving at as I do not see him having any intentions of leaving his family). Things have been going on really well (couldn't be better) for both of us since my divorce more than a year ago, but when he broke news that his wife is expecting another baby, it really shoke me. (I guess it will always be difficult for a woman to accept their man sleeping with 2 women.)

He has told me that he still loves his wife and that his family will always have a bigger share of his heart, but I will be the special one who will always get the best even though it is a smaller share (what do you think guys/gals? Crab??). He also mentions that he feels like he is leading 2 separate lives. But it is not a problem as he is capable of loving 2 people at the same time.!

I feel that I am kinda like at a cross road. One part says that I should be brave and leave him, but another part of me tells me that we should hang on (yes, hate me...) as soul mates are hard to come by.? I love him truly and dearly but each time I think about him and his wife happy together (especially when they continue to have a healthy sex life), I ask myself 'why are you there?' But I don't know anymore... I am confused... maybe someone out there can share some experiences with me... give me some opinions... can I, should I ignore the presence of his wife when we are together??? Help!!!
 

 
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