Re: my soulmate or is he
OK, since this is someone that you had planned on marrying I'm going to assume that this is only a recent change in his behaviour. Have you known him long? if so, how long? and has he been like this most of your time together? if not when did this start? when did you get engaged? when did you buy the house? all these are important questions. the answers will probably shed some light.
assuming he's normally a pretty good and responsible guy and this is a new things he's going thru, then you gotta know already that part of a marriage involves helping your spouse thru rought times like these. I know you're not married but you 'want' to be married so it still applies.
First, if you have a wedding date, postpone it. Tell him it doesn't matter that you bought ahouse together. no mortgage should make you feel obligated to follow thru so basically the house means nothing. Tell him that you want to help him however you can but that you fear where this is leading and you won't be getting married to someone who is showing abusive tendencies. He's got to shape up, or he's out.
first, he needs to go to therapy alone. You can go together for your relationship issues but it seems he's got bigger personal issues right now that he needs to work through without you in the room.
another thing could be he's feeling doubts about getting married and he's deciding to f**k up now instead of just being honest. Or he's getting just a little to comfortable now that you have the house together and his true colors are coming out.
whatever it is, you cancel that wedding until because you won't be marrying into another abusive relationship no matter how much you may love him. if the behaviour doesn't change, then you're out.