thanks for replying. sounds like were both in the same anxiety mode. there is nothing worse than girl pain. (for girls; guy pain) if i may vent for a moment what hurt so badly was a day or two before she ended it she told me how much she loved me and we were planing a trip. like you i ended up alone with my own cat. the memories of when she loved me play in my head all the time. and to recall how we acted like total strangers to one another last night was heart breaking. i wanted so much to kiss her and tell her where have you been?? but i know and see that she no longer feels that way about me. It would be innappropriate and not nessesary.
one last thing i'm curiuos about. i personally will service myself looking at her picture. i find this extremely emotionaly painful yet i cannot stop myself. wonder if anyone else subjects themselves to that kind of self inflicked anguish