I am right where you are right now. I also wanted to immerse myself in work as a distraction. It didn't work for me wither. My body is in pain all day. I sleep poorly. I barely eat. Friends can't help that much and neither can my family. I blame myself constantly. I am EXACTLY where you are at right now. Logically I know it has to end someday but my heart doesn't feel like it is going to make it. Sometimes I just sit and shake. I even wake up sweating. This is a nightmare. I feel your pain.