thank you for your respond; i dont understand why i put up with the things i do. but i understand more because of my life; why you ladies stay with abusive husbands or boyfriends now. its a sad thing but some how i believe you begin to think you have no choise. i am back in church and trying to live right but its hard with some one like him.a very wise person once told me that marrage is like the elastic in your favorite pants! you keep wearing them and the elastic keeps streaching and streaching ---till one day it wont go back. and i think thats the way it is in a one sided or abusive marrage.one day when you have had enough the elastic will brake and --you wont take no more! thank you for your help.