Re: Frustrated newlywed
Wow. The first half of your reply almost exactly describes the mental battle I've been going through. I went through the whole self-blame about four months ago, and just recently got over it.
Here's something that might shed a little light on the subject, and may give you all a little more understanding of what's going on. Before the honeymoon, we were both virgins. We decided to wait until we were married before doing ANYTHING. I mean, When the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride" it was shortly followed by our FIRST kiss. I mean, it was the first kiss for either of us. For the previous few years it had been driving us nuts, but it's something special that not many other people can understand.
Things have changed. As of the past few weeks, I've noticed that I just don't feel like even snuggling or smooching any more. It's like I WANT to SO MUCH, but I still feel hurt and she still doesn't want to talk about it. I don't care how much she hurt me, unintentionally or otherwise, I don't want to do the same to her. It seems like now that we've noticed that I changed, she acts like I'm intentionaly being distant. I'm not! I want to be with her just as much as I ever did, but now it's almost as if I'm tired of it all. I can only blame it on being behind in sleep for so much longer, so I have to try to "kick" this mood one way or another.
I don't even know what to think or how to feel anymore. It's like there are too many conflicting emotions and instead of acting on them I just get "blah".
I desperately need to get out of this mood before I end up hurting her.